Rantings and Ravings of D-Town

The Next Adventure (and Getting Over the Last One)

2011-12-20T00:26:00.004Z

So I've been unemployed for nearly six months now after a very unhappy year working at a prestigious university here in New York (yes, I've been in New York now for a year and a half). The experience left me very bitter. It was the first job that I ever had that I didn't succeed in. I've always taken my career very seriously (contrary to how seriously I take myself!), so it's been very difficult to deal with.

I struggle with discussing the experience with potential employers. I don't want to come off as bitter and angry (even though I am), but I have to defend myself. Having been successful in a similar role in D.C., it was a shock to me to not have been successful in NYC. As such, I place most of the blame for the poor match on the employer. I know there are probably some things that I could have done differently, but by and large I think I was put in a position where the path for success was very narrow. I felt micromanaged. I strongly believe that there were many artificial barriers to success that could have been removed. We had very unstable leadership: in less than two years, the team had six difference leadership changes and five different bosses. Change is inevitable in any job, but that points to poor management at the top of the organization. The senior associate dean, while an amazing fundraiser, was a terrible leader. It was her way or no way. Suggestions for improvement were not solicited nor were they welcomed. Among the five people in my role on the team, the most senior person has been there for 1.5 years as of today. The two more senior people on the team have moved on (not including me) after three years. You either produce quickly with their playbook, or you are shown the door.

I cannot wait to get health insurance again, as I really need to be seeing a therapist to work through a number of things. However, I have to get a job first! And I'm afraid that this bitterness could be keeping me from getting a job. Well probably not: I'm not nearly as angry in interviews as I am on here likely. However, this job was my last job, and I know future employers are suspect regarding the circumstances around my departure. I always say that it wasn't a good professional fit and we had a mutually agreed upon, amicable departure. Which is the truth, but then I struggle with what to say and how much to say when asked the inevitable follow up question "what do you mean by that?" I could say A LOT more, but I still haven't mastered exactly how much to say to satisfy the interviewer. I don't want to go on a diatribe of course (no future employer wants to hear you trash your old employer), but how do I defend myself? I don't think I'll ever master it. I know that a lot of this will fade once I get my next job, but it's hard for me to suppress this and deal with it when I have to rehash and talk about it OVER and OVER and OVER. I have two interviews this week, so wish me luck!

I fly home to S.C. for the holidays tomorrow for six nights. It will be nice to be home, particularly so I can sleep without all the horn honking and screaming drunks and hobos (I live near the intersection of two VERY busy Manhattan thoroughfares). Happy Holidays!

This Thing Still Exists?

2009-04-16T11:45:00.001Z

Admittedly I've not been in much of a blogging mood over the past several months. I don't plan on deleting this myself, since I originally started it as a journal-esque venture. I think it's important to see what I've felt and been through in the past. Who knows, if I ever date again, I may get dumped and have another man to vent about on here!

It's been a tough few months for me. I'm coming to a crossroads in my personal and professional life, and I've felt quite rudderless. Now, that's not to say that I've not had any fun or laughed at all. Those who know me know that I'm quite the clown when the time is right, and I've kept up my reputation as a silly jokester. But when the laughter subsides, my average mood has gone from a five to a three. My life feels empty, and I've lost interest in my job. Now, each day is different, and some days I feel happy with life. And if someone came to me and asked me if I have a good life, my first inclination is to still say "yes." Sure, I'd like to tweak my personal and professional life some, but I still have wonderful friends and family in my life who love me. I still get to travel quite a bit (albeit just for work recently), and I've got a very secure job that doesn't leave me stressed out. If I died today I'd still look back and say that I had a GREAT life.

So I'm working through some challenges in my life right now. It'll take time for me to re-engineer my life so that I can be happy on a consistent, day-to-day basis, but I'm 100% confident that I'm going to be able to do it. It may and probably will involve some decisions which may not be easy at first, including a likely physical relocation, but I know I'll come out a better, and happier, person. Wish me luck!

Onward & Upward

2008-07-29T00:30:00.001Z

It isn't perfect, but I wanted to post on here to let you all know that life is good right now. While I'm still somewhat disillusioned with regards to my career direction, my personal life is humming along pretty well. I've taken a more active role in planning my social life and have reached out to friends with whom I haven't spent much time over the past several months. It's had a two-pronged effect: hanging out with new people has given me a better sense of self and a new perspective on group dynamics and friendships, and it has also helped reinforce the long-standing friendships that I already have. I have had a great time getting to know people that have previously been acquaintances, but when I'm back with my closer friends I appreciate better their relationships with me.

Not to mention that -- true to the cliché of finding a date when you least expect it -- I have met new boys with whom I will likely go out. I didn't aggressively pursue any of them; they just kind of fell in my lap (or hopefully vice-versa, REOW!). I had a first date with one tonight which went smashingly. Of course I have no idea if he will pan out, but the first step is always the first date. I'll probably go out with two more sometime soon, but there's a third in which I am particularly interested. I met him this past weekend and spent a decent amount with him over the weekend; however, I think he thinks of me as a friend at this point. That's fine, but I found myself strongly attracted to his personality in addition to the physical attraction (the latter of the the two being the easier match normally). We shared a very similar sense of humor, which is hugely important to me. That feature alone will score you big points. So we'll see; at worst he'd be a fun new friend. Well, at worst he'd sue me for sexual harassment, but I doubt it will come to that.

I am in the middle of a quasi-two week vacation (meaning that I'm generally out of the office, but not 100%), and it's been wonderful. It's been a long time since I've taken a significant chunk of time off of work and not jetted overseas. I have spent time with my family and some time with DC friends so far. Wednesday I'm leaving for New York and Fire Island, N.Y., for the next five nights. It should be fun, but I fear that when it's time to head back to work on Tuesday, August 5, I'll be so exhausted that I'll be tempted to call in sick. After all I'm 31 years-old now; I can't recover quite as quick as I could when I was 21. Still, it should be a great time.

Set Adrift

2008-06-18T15:43:00.000Z

I'm still trying to pinpoint the problem(s), but lately I feel like my life is just sputtering along ... like I'm running in a constant hamster wheel, or I'm just on some sort of autopilot.

I've been very unmotivated in my job over the past several weeks, doing just what I need to do to get by and yet still look impressive/successful. My job isn't a brainless one, but I guess that I've gotten so good at it that I can half-heartedly do it and still come out smelling like roses. It's not like it doesn't have its own challenges, but I've just not felt "challenged" recently, if that makes any sense. I'm not *unhappy* in my job, per se, it's just that I'm starting to feel pretty bored with it. However, when I think of what else that's out there that I wouldn't mind doing, my mind goes blank. Surely there's a job out there that I would find exciting and challenging (but not overwhelming) ... I just can't name it off of the top of my head. Which doesn't mean it doesn't exist; virtually everyone who is in my line of work right now fell into it through a variety of ways. No one enters college thinking "I want to do what D-Town does!" I keep thinking that maybe I would be good in some sort of business development, marketing, strategic partnerships/alliances, or sales role for a creative company. I occasionally glance at jobs at technology organizations, marketing/PR firms, ad agencies, and the like. Maybe I'll update the resume and throw some copies out there. If I don't wind up getting the big raise that my boss promised me (if the finance people say I have to wait a year until the next budget), that may be the catalyst that moves this process forward.

Personally I'm doing okay, but not great. Going to the therapist has certainly been nice, but I'm not making progress as fast as I would like (which shouldn't be a surprise to an impatient person like me). Not to mention that at $180/week, it's putting a strain on the ol' wallet. And god love my friends (I know I do), but it seems we stay stuck in a rut, always doing the same things every week/weekend. Now that the weather is warm, I've been thinking about doing some more outdoors stuff like hiking and maybe even kayaking (something I've never done before). However, it's so hard to get my close friends excited about that kind of stuff. And you've read about my prior moanings and groanings about us not doing anything beachy this summer. Yeah, Toronto Pride will be fun, but we'll just be doing the same stuff there that we would be doing here ... going out on the town. Granted, I still enjoy the nightlife scene quite a bit, but I'm at the point where I'd like to diversify my weekend activities a little more. Hell, I'd even settle for an evening at Wolftrap under the stars with a blanket and a bottle of wine. Life just feels a little empty right now, for lack of a better word (unhappy or a similarly negative adjective is a little to harsh for how I feel). I don't want to blame it on being single, because god knows I don't need a man to make my life feel full (considering I've been single all but seven months of my life), but I'm searching for meaning and purpose in my life now. And don't be coming at me telling me that I need Jesus! lol

A lot of people I know are training for marathons. I've always enjoyed running but just haven't had the motivation to train for one myself. I guess a big reason is that I didn't want to give up one night of my weekend to go to bed early so I could get up and run in the morning. However, now may be the perfect time to start training. There are a little over 19 weeks until the marathon and half-marathon in my hometown. I may not be able to work my way up to a marathon in that short amount of time, but I could most certainly do a half, given that I am usually able to run about five to six miles on an average jaunt. I may just do that; it'd be nice to have a goal in my life to work toward ... giving myself a sense of purpose. I'll have to draw myself up a training schedule.

So anyway, stay tuned as I tweak my life to make it run at optimal performance :-)

Hooray Obama ... It's Almost Over!

2008-06-03T16:40:00.001Z

We can only hope ... but do you realize that our next first lady will either be named Michelle or Cindy? What is this, The Babysitters Club or some such nonsense?

"Would You Trust (The Ex) With Your Heart?"

2008-05-22T17:17:00.000Z

And while I'm sure I have plenty of self-exploration left to go, that one question that my therapist posed to me today after hearing the long explanation about me and The Ex really helped me put him in perspective. Because, although I'd love to trust The Ex with my heart again, in reality, I can't. Not after all that has happened between us. Think about it, if he were to leave his current boyfriend of two months and come back to me, what does that say about his character? And then if he did it to me once, and to another ex once, couldn't he conceivably do it to me yet again? I guess I'd be sitting there waiting for the other shoe to drop ... wondering if he's lying again ('cause lord knows The Ex is a bad liar ... he'd go straight to jail if he tried to lie on the witness stand -- even Hellen Keller could if she were in the courtroom).

So the therapist will be a good thing for me (albeit expensive). I've never been a person who has truly been helped by therapy, but I think that may be because I've had bad therapists or just didn't stick with it enough. I've seen therapists before while in college and afterwards, but it was to address different issues that have since been resolved (mainly dealing with the fact that I'm gay, coming out, stress in my job, etc.). So I'm going to try to stick with this one unless we just don't jive, but it seemed like we would just from our first session.

Last night I watched American Idol for the first time ever. I was invited over to some friends' condo to hang out, and I'm so glad I went. It was very comforting and fun to be with good friends ... there were five of us over. Yeah, I drank too much wine (shocker), but laughing with my friends was great therapy in and of itself.

Now time for my next phase of therapy. A run outside since it's a very mild day (60s). Onward and upward!

Frustration and Irritation

2008-05-21T22:44:00.001Z

Given the dark cloud that has followed me around this week, it's probably no surprise that I've been faily irritable. The least bit of frustration, be it traffic, lines, shortcomings, having to wait, errors, etc., have brought me to the brink of tears, swearing, or shouting. I hate feeling this way, as I generally consider myself a pretty pleasant, flexible person. Ask my friends ... they'll tell you that I normally don't care what we do as a group when we all go out, just as long as we're together.

Though I have to say, after enduring a whole week of "what are you doing this weekend?" And "my friends and I are so excited about the beach house this weekend," it has made me endlessly frustrated. For one thing, I'm not going to the beach this weekend. I'm going down to Atlanta to do housework on my house all weekend with my parents and best friend there. It's the practical choice, of course, given that I'm getting ready to put it on the market (yippee, something else to be stressed about). But I'm also irritated because despite us all talking about going to the beach this summer, my close friends and I didn't get anything planned. And as someone who loves the beach, that leaves me none too pleased. I even turned down a share with a group of other guys because of the house sale and my friends' forthcoming plans. Not everyone loves the beach like I do, nor does everyone make the same money or have the same amount of vacation time. So that I get. But it's little consolation as we approach the jumping-off point of the summer.

I sure hope I can figure out my issues. Things have felt exceptionally dark this week. I can't seem to find pleasure in anything. Nothing that I normally look forward to interests me. I can't think of anything that will take my mind off of my depression besides medication or sleep. I hate it. I'm afraid that it's going to start affecting my job in short order. I can see that coming. I just don't feel motivated to do anything. Worst of all, I just don't think anyone cares. Who can blame them, though? I spent a long time last fall talking about this to the few who would bother listening then. They've paid their dues. Now I just have to learn to deal with this on my own somehow. That's why I am going to a professional tomorrow. I don't know what else is left.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Just Another Sad Love Song Rackin' My Brain

2008-05-21T11:02:00.000Z

You don't *really* realize how many songs there are out there about love until you're hurting because of it. And they all seem to come on the radio, be played over the speaker at stores, come up randomly on your ipod, or be piped into restaurants when you least need to hear them. Trust me, I've heard my share this week, plus some others that, due to association, take me right back to a bad place:

Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis (one I love but have heard ad nauseum the past few days due to its popularity on pop radio)
Open Arms - Journey
Faithfully - Journey
Here and Now - Luther Vandross
Hate That I Love You - Rihanna
I've Been Loving You Too Long - Otis Redding
I'll Still Be Loving You - Restless Hearts
Time to Say Goodbye - Andrea Bocelli and Sara Brightman
I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt
Anytime - Brian McKnight
Your Song - Elton John
No Air - Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown (another one popular on pop radio now)
Like You'll Never See Me Again - Alicia Keys
I'll Be There - The Escape Club (which was actually my senior prom song, how weird)
I Just Can't Stop Loving You - Michael Jackson

And the songs that by association (primarly b/c the remind me of The Ex or remind me of that fateful Labor Day weekend in Rehoboth where my heart was freshly broken), take me there:

The entire second half of John Legend's "Get Lifted" album
Don't Stop The Music (Jody den Broeder Mix) - Rihanna
Ring The Alarm (Freemasons Remix) - Beyonce
Thks Fr Th Mmrs (Lenny B Club Remix) - Fall Out Boy

Yeah, those last ones you won't get (except maybe John Legend) ...

So I am going to see a therapist tomorrow during lunch; my first session with one in a while. Looks like I need professional help to move on since these feelings have been drudged up again after NINE MONTHS and I'm right back where I started. And I asked for a referral from my doctor; I'm paying full freight on this guy because I wanted someone GAY and GOOD, not some half-ass flunky through my insurance who isn't going to help me (the last one was a middle-aged woman who wore panty hose with knock-off teva sandals ... I'm kind of thinking that she's not going to get me, my situation, or how I've been trying to cope). Once I get my head on straight, then I'll decide if it's even worth talking to The Ex about my feelings. After all, it's now Wednesday and things are seemingly back to normal between us again.

Not to mention that my ability to read guys is not as flawless as I once thought. Rewind to last Thursday. I was at a social function where I knew a few people, but only about 5 - 10% of the crowd present. One of my friends brought someone, who I ascertained was a friend of his. Three hours later while several of us were at dinner did I find out that they were on their SECOND DATE. I was a little taken aback since I had been flirting with this guy all night, and I had seemingly been getting it back, including the occasional touch of the arm, etc. But my friend didn't seem bothered by it, so I was like, oh well, it's over.

So the friend's date and I exchanged emails recently just to say hello, and he mentioned that he had a busy week but a "hot date" on Thursday. Given that my calendar is clear this Thursday, I assumed he meant another date with my friend. I confessed that I didn't know they were on a date, and he said "oh, I figured you were just being friendly, I didn't realize you were flirting." So bottom line is that even though I thought my friend's date showed more of an interest in me than my friend on Thursday evening, I totally misread the situation again. Another two single guys find infatuation with one another, and I'm left standing on the sidelines, yet again.

That's what's so frustrating to me. Love is all around me. Everywhere I go I see happy couples (at least in appearance), hear about guys going on successful dates, see the excitement in someone's eyes when they're together with the person that they care about, etc. I see my parents, who have been married for almost 37 years. Hell, I even see successful gay couples (though the odds tend to be against us for some reason). I have two close friends who have been dating for over two years now and seem to be doing quite well (despite the occasional lover's spat, which is to be expected). Hell, even my best friend in Atlanta, who for years felt like he would die alone, has found someone ... they've been dating for over a year and are about to move in together.

I don't begrudge anyone's love at all. In fact, I am quite happy for them. But I'm also insanely jealous. I deserve to have the same love that everyone else has. Why does it work for some people and not for others? I have dated TWO guys in the 8.5 years that I have been open about me being gay. One for three months, and one for four months(ish) ... and they both broke up with me. Do you know how pathetic that is? I don't know what's wrong. I know I'm a catch. I'm smart, attractive, active, outgoing, gregarious, sociable, and reasonably successful. Yes, I know I can be exceptionally loud and abrasive (particularly when I'm drinking), and I have a Southern accent that I'll likely never shake regardless of where I live (which, despite people telling me that they like the accent, apparently never want to consider dating it, lol). But that's what makes me different, in a charming way (at least I thought).

"It'll happen when it happens." "It'll happen when you least expect it." Yeah I know, and they're both true to a point. But it's little consolation when you are feeling vulnerable and rejected. But AM I doing enough to put myself out there? I am constantly at social functions and watering holes where I have the opportunity to meet other guys. Do I need to be more aggressive and ask people out?

Another reason I probably don't date much (beyond many first dates) is that I'm just not willing to put any effort into a relationship at any stage unless I can see it going somewhere. I've always been the type to make the call about a guy not even halfway through dinner. I just feel that I can tell, based on a person's personality, whether it's going to work. Again, maybe I am making that call too fast, as my skills in this area are being called into question (see earlier this post).

Hopefully the therapist will be able to shed some light on the situation. I don't want to have to stay medicated on xanax 24 hours a day, nor do I want to have to move to a new city just to avoid seeing The Ex ... that's certainly not solving the problem. Maybe just keeping the radio off and avoiding all forms of music ... nah, that's no fun either!

Bleeding Love

2008-05-18T23:10:00.000Z

Today's been a tough day emotionally. I saw The Ex for the first time since March (or thereabouts) at a party last night. It was a big party and he got there late, so it wasn't like we were stuck with one another. The thing is, we had a great time together. It was fun hanging out with him; we did have a lot of good times and fun together. It was like old times to a point last night. He's been dating the same guy for the past two months, but he was out of town and wasn't his +1 (another friend I know came along).

However, things did take a dramatic turn towards the end of the night. The Ex pulled me away in a room, just the two of us ... why I wasn't sure. He sat down, and started to cry. Now granted, we had both been drinking and things are a little fuzzy in recollection. He shared with me some bad news from his life, and I don't know what happened ... maybe it was just seeing him in pain and wanting to reach out to him, to let him know that I appreciated the fact that he could share personal information with me still, to let him know that I was there for him in spite of all that had happened between us ... but I told him that I still loved him. And I started tearing up myself. We hugged each other, and tried our best to understand and comfort each other. He wasn't bothered at all by my confession, it seemed. Maybe he still knows. He didn't go into how he feels about me, but I could tell that he still has feelings for me on some level. What those are, who knows. We rejoined the party, and he and his friend ultimately left.

So now here I am, yet again, on the verge of tears all day today, listening to sad songs about love on my ipod. Not knowing what to do next. The Ex and I exchanged brief texts today, but it was of minor consequence and didn't have to do anything with last night. Maybe in the light of day he got his head back on straight and realizes he just had a weak moment due to alcohol. I know I did. However, my feelings for him are real. Very real. You're probably wondering why I keep doing this to myself ... reopening these wounds, torturing myself, going down a path where the destination is fairly certain. I don't know. Maybe this is why I haven't been strongly interested in another guy for the past few months. Maybe this is still part of the healing process. However, something deep down inside of me thinks that this feels so real, it can't be wrong. Can I really have such strong feelings of love for someone who doesn't or won't love me back? Surely my heart wouldn't want someone who had zero feelings for me, right? Maybe the fact that there's the potential for something there that has kept me from resolving my feelings for The Ex. Maybe I can't move on because I don't want to move on? Is he really "the one" and this is just what has to happen until we're back together? Like a holding pattern around the airport before the plane comes in for a landing.

But how long am I supposed to wait? What if my heart IS wrong? I can't keep going through this process. I just can't. When the wounds reopen like they did last night and today, it is almost all consuming. I can barely focus on anything else. I just want to knock myself out to numb the pain ... being unconscious is the only thing that can keep my mind and my heart from dwelling on The Ex. When I'm awake, I'm on the constant brink of tears. What's worse is that I have spent all day standing on the edge of an emotional cliff, but not falling over. I have barely shed a tear, but feel like i need to bawl. Why can't I?

Uncomfortable as it may be, and even though I may be dooming myself to short-term depression, I probably need to have a frank, sober conversation with The Ex so that we can ascertain our feelings for one another. No more of this "see you every two months at a party and you start giving me signals and telling me you miss me" nonsense. Boyfriend or not, it's evident that he still feels something for me. What that is, I don't know, and maybe he doesn't either. We both deserve that. We either need to date or be done for good.

Just One of 'Dem Days ...

2008-04-29T16:25:00.000Z

I'm just annoyed, that's all. No real problems in my life, just little stuff that's bugging me:

-I just got a call from my doctor's office because I submitted a refill for a daily prescription that I take. The assistant with whom I spoke told me that I had to come in the office for a checkup and that from now on I had to come in every THREE MONTHS just for the hell of it. Ugh, what is the point of me taking a third of a day off and pay an insurance copay to go to the doctor's office to have a conversation with my doctor just for the hell of it? I mean, this is rather pointless. Sure, it's under the guise of "my health" or whatever, but why the sudden change after I've been going to him for almost 18 months?

-I've been getting a bill for $30 from my dermatologist for something in January. Now, $30 is my required copay for specialists, but there's no way I would have left without paying. They wouldn't let me out the door. Of course, the billing is done off-site, and I'm sure that whatever outsourced company I call will just look on a screen and tell me that I owe $30 without explanation as to why. I haven't bothered calling yet because I just don't feel like it. I've been to the dermatologist at least three times since then, and this unpaid balance hasn't been a problem.

-I've also recently received a statement in the mail from my cancelled MasterCard for something like $300. I cancelled this card back in January with a zero balance, confirmed it with the agent on the phone, and received a letter indicating as such. This is the first statement I've gotten since January, and I'm sure they'll claim it's for some bullshit partial-billing cycle interest payment, plus accumulated late charges. At the time I thought "wow, this sure was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be" since I know that a lot of credit card companies will make you jump through hoops to try to cancel your account. Again, I haven't bothered to call because I just don't feel like going through the whole automated rigamarole on phone, waiting on hold for eight to ten minutes, and then explaining my situation to an agent and waging a war over it. Maybe when I'm painfully bored I'll deal with it.

-While I'm trying to keep my financial commitments low in lieu of my home repairs and subsequent sale, I can't help but long for a trip of some kind about which I can get excited. I'll have a few beach weekends coming up this summer (S.C. with the family and then Rehoboth and Fire Island with friends), nothing's set in stone, plus I want to do something fun with my close friends here in DC. We had these grandiose plans to rent a house in Provincetown, Mass., this summer and then go to a fun urban (probably Pride) weekend somewhere. Well, P-Town has fallen through because not everyone wants to spend what it's going to take to rent something in high season there, and our decided-upon pride weekend, Chicago, is not inspiring much excitement in us all (since we picked it at random and not because we heard it was a fun weekend, per se). Plus my two friends in Chicago said Market Days in August was more fun then Pride in June. So who knows, we may just scrap Chicago and go back to San Francisco, our old tried-and-true. But as a beach lover, I'm still really bummed that we haven't been able to pull something together for the summer. Not only that, I actually TURNED DOWN offers to join other people's shares in Rehoboth this summer because I thought that my close friends were going to do something. UGH!!!

-Yesterday was my first day back in the gym on the weights in a solid month. Between being sick for a couple of weeks with early-spring congestion and such and my grueling travel schedule, I just haven't had the energy or desire to hit the weights. Though yesterday was a struggle and I didn't do my original full routine, I did leave feeling better and satisfied with what I did do. So I'm going to make a special effort to go every day this week (save for Friday, which will be haircut day). My friend Matt's coming down from New York for the weekend, and I know for a fact I won't make it anywhere near the gym while he's in town. Mercifully I am still slender and have kept off the 25lbs that I lost last fall. Now I just need to tone up a little and I'll be set for swimsuit season (well, plus some trip to the fake bake, lol).

-My psoriasis has been acting up the past few weeks due to my illness and my having missed two doses of my current treatment method (injected medication), but I think I'm starting to get a handle on it. Again, I'll have to rid myself of my "spots" (with the help of the aformentioned treatment and some tanning) before I can hit the pool or beach this summer.

-A lot of my clothes, and in particular most of my dress clothes, don't fit due to the weight loss. Yes, I know, better they be too loose than too tight, but the fact that all of my suits look like sacks on me is not flattering. Not to mention my shoe wardrobe could use a little freshening up, too. I've been good about keeping discretionary spending low recently, so I just need to get to work on some clothes and shoe shopping.

-And I wish Hillary Clinton would just go away.

Mixed Messages

2008-03-17T16:41:00.000Z

Two weeks ago, on a Sunday, the Ex and I wound up at the same bar: the bar where you always bump into everyone you know if you find yourself out on a Sunday. Now, we've chatted on instant messenger ever so often, but hadn't seen each other in a month and a half. I had been drinking for a while; he hadn't had that much. I don't know how it happened, but I woke up in his bed on Monday morning. No, we didn't do anything; not even so much as kiss, cuddle, or whatever. Feeling embarrassed for how drunk I was, I quickly got myself together and left. Oddly enough, though, the Ex wasted no time chatting me up again on instant messenger. I thought for sure he would want to keep me at a significant distance for a while. So things were back to normal.

Or were there? The following weekend, on a Saturday, I was out with my friends at a different bar/club. The Ex calls me and asks where I am. I tell him. He says "I'm coming to meet you all, I'm ready to leave the people I'm with." Not exactly who I wanted to hang out with on a Saturday night, but hell, there were several of us there and he knew pretty much everyone with me. He shows up and it's a reversal of the previous Sunday: he's drunk, and I'm not. He basically stands with me the whole night, like we were together, is a little physically affectionate, and then tells me things like "I miss you," and "I miss us." Taken aback, I told my friends that if he doesn't leave soon, I was going to, as this was turning out to be some sort of mindfuck. I finally convince him to take a cab home (or somewhere besides here), and that's the end of that.

Then last Monday, he IM's me and asks if I'll join him for happy hour, as he has some networking event for his trade profession. Having already made plans with a friend from out-of-town who was in DC for work, the decision was easy. Tuesday I leave for Portland/Seattle for the rest of the week. He IM's me Wednesday night to check in, then Thursday he calls me at 8pm EDT to invite me to drinks, forgetting I was in Seattle.

Now, at this point I'm starting to let him creep back in a little and am actually getting a vibe. Could he really be interested in getting back together? Is this why he has been pursuing me the past two weeks? Not that I would jump at the chance, but if he was truly serious and wasn't just looking for a quick shag, I would have to at least consider the idea. I still love him (n.b., I still love my first Ex, too; for me, the love always exists in some form), but I would be a masochist to put myself through that emotional rollercoaster if he wasn't really serious about getting back together.

Saturday I'm walking with one of my close friends who mentions to me that the Ex told him that he's seeing someone new. "What?" I ask, honestly caught off guard a little. It was at that point that I finally had to confess the prior two weeks communications and note that I half thought that he may want to get back together. My friend tells me, "um, could we please not have act two of this drama? Act one was difficult enough." So noted. But then what in the hell does the Ex want if he doesn't want to get back together? Why the sudden interest in me again?

Saturday I go out with a different friend of mine whom I haven't seen in nearly two months; The Ex briefly dated his roommate and best friend this winter. The Ex did come up briefly in the context of his sudden interest in me again. My friend asks me "so did you hear the news about him?" with a mischievous grin. I said "um, no, what is is?" My friend suddenly does a figurative backflip and says "well, on second thought I can't tell you." Of course, I'm going mad now: "tell me" I ask him. He won't, and ultimately changes the subject. So now I'm left to wonder, what the hell could it be? Even though it has nothing to do with me, I'm almost certain, I have this weird sickness to need to know the dirt/gossip on the Ex. It's almost like a feel a sense of entitlement since I had to put up with all the drama of this past fall, and I need to know the truth about him ... especially if it's something that could otherwise make me see him in a different light and extinguish the lingering feelings I have for him.

Honestly, I don't think the Ex is malicious. Like I've mentioned before, he can be a little immature and selfish. But the truth of the matter is that I don't think even he knows what he wants. Not just from me, but in general with all guys. So it's not like I can say "um, so what do you want from me" and he'll say "okay, it's this."

I guess it would have been a lot easier to brush off his quasi-advances had I been dating someone, or had I even had a few good prospects in the pool. I've been out with a few guys, and talked to others, but no one yet has piqued my interest like the Ex did ... someone with whom I have a lot of compatibility in so many ways. Sure, there are plenty of good guys, but they fail in one category or more. Add that to the fact that I see plenty of people around me getting together and dating one another, and I have found myself saying "I'm going to die alone" more than my share of times recently. Of course, I am the type who doesn't even attempt to date someone if I can read the writing on the wall. I've always thought "why bother dating someone when you know it's to fail eventually?" I typically date guys with whom I see myself having a serious relationship. Otherwise I'll just turn it into a hookup or something of the same sort.

But short of a clear explanation of why the Ex is suddenly interested in talking to me with greater frequency, I'm going to try and keep him at arm's length. If I don't "just say no," then I see a bruised heart in my future.

Mama is Freeee-eee ... Ow!

2008-03-10T22:27:00.000Z

Dreaming of the Beach

2008-02-28T11:20:00.000Z

This winter has been particularly long and cold here in DC. No, we haven't had any more snow than we usually have (it's snowed a few times, a few inches, but nothing big), and, yes, it is bright and sunny outside today (with a high of 35, I might add), but it just seems like we've had unrelenting cold and wind for quite some time now. Add to the fact that I spent a week in Chicago back in January and four nights in Berlin earlier this month, and part of me thinks that my bones will never warm up again outside of a gym.

Even though I just got back from a mini-vacation (Berlin), I feel like I desperately need to break away for a few days to a warm locale ... one where I can lie on the beach and do next to nothing but read and listen to my iPod. I've been shopping for award seats in the Caribbean, Mexico, and Central America. I found seats to Costa Rica for next weekend, and I've been seriously considering it. However, I have no one to go with (not a problem for me, obviously), and frankly I'm trying to really cut back on expenses with my impending home sale this summer in Atlanta. Which is why I targeted Costa Rica to begin with. Other destinations in that region (Caribbean in particular) don't offer basic hotel rooms for under $100. I found seats to St. Thomas, but you can't do the USVI on the cheap. Hell, I'd be happy going to Ft Lauderdale or Key West, but a decent hotel room in a decent location will cost some coin. And having used Marriott points for Berlin, I don't have enough to use for a hotel in Florida that isn't 30 miles from the ocean. Not to mention I couldn't find award seats there (and buying a ticket at this stage of the game is out of my budget).

So I guess I will continue dreaming of the beach and warmer weather. After all, I'll be heading down to Charleston for the bridge run in a month, and even though it won't be lying-out weather, it will still be a helluva lot warmer than DC is right now!

"It Is a Race! I Hope I Win!"

2007-12-05T15:12:00.000Z

So said Rowan Atkinson's character in Rat Race. He was racing for a prize of $10 million; he had a goal in site and knew when he would reach the ending. He knew that was how the race would be measured: whoever got the prize money first would be the winner. It was a real race, not one that was just fabricated in his mind.

So in the time that has passed between the last post about the Ex, I have moved past the point of wanting to get back together. Ick ... no. My trip to Europe came at a good time and helped put a lot of perspective on things. Sure, we still keep in contact, and I see him out on average once a week. I got him a small gift for his birthday (a book that he told me he wanted a while back), which he seemed to appreciate. So things continue to move in a positive direction for us friends-wise.

However, there's still tension, most of which felt internally on my part. It's primary source is embarrassment from even having dated him. He's shown me (and others) some not-too-admirable parts of his personality, and while I chalk it up to mainly immaturity and self-centeredness, it has jolted me from wanting to date him anytime in the near future.

So why do I care anymore? Well, two reasons. I somehow feel that the worse he acts, the worse it makes me look. Remember, he dumped me, so I apprently wasn't good enough for him (not entirely accurate, I know, but worse case scenario that's what I fear people will think). The second reason is, as I hinted above, we're in a race in my mind: a race to be the most popular, the most connected, the most successful, the most desireable .... All of this is subjective, of course. Who's to say who has the better body or the better looking face? People have different types and find different things desireable. How do you know who's winning? How do you know when the race is over? The bottom line is you don't ... you can't. So is it really a race if there is no objective measure of success or victory?

Plus I've put myself in some masochistic corner ... the more I hear about his shenanigans, I feel like it makes me look foolish. BUT it also makes me think he's more popular than I am. I know, so junior high, right? But the mind and heart are strange things. It ISN'T a contest. But since I was the dumped instead of the dumper, for some reason I feel this duty to look as if it doesn't phase me, like I bounced right back and I'm better off than I was, like the Ex and I not being together is a good thing (which I know it is ultimately). The Ex, being the dumper, already has a leg up on me, I feel, so I have to save face somehow.

Hey, tsk tsk and shake your head all you want, and I DO realize that I'm talking crazy talk, but I have made a lot of progress in three months, both internally and externally with the Ex. In fact, I had a date with one of his friends last weekend. It went well, he's a nice guy, but it probably won't go anywhere ultimately (just a hunch). But I'll probably see him a couple more times before I pull the plug (just to make sure). And while none have turned into much, I am going out and meeting lots of people, so who knows ;).

The Magic of Planet Unicorn

2007-10-29T12:06:00.000Z

Okay folks, I know I am behind this times, but it's been barely over a week since I learned about the absolute magic and joy that is Planet Unicorn. Sometime last weekend someone told Kai at the bar that he sounded just like Feathers. He's like "what?" So Clay, Kai, and I watch and fall in love with the five short animated episodes that were made. If you have no idea what I am talking about, go to YouTube (or hell, I think the above website has them you can watch, too) and watch them. Do it. Because if I get my nerves up, I will post a picture of this past weekend's Halloween shenanigans, where Kai and I decided to dress up like two of the unicorns from the show. We look absolutely ridiculous, but totally amazing. I mean, who comes to a party as a gay unicorn? For those who had no clue who we were (and no, we were not My Little Pony) we would, as if on cue, go right into the theme song. I may have to buy the ringtone. Ugh, save me now!!!

Riding Through October

2007-10-26T13:28:00.001Z

1) The HRC Dinner

So that was a magical evening. Clay invited me to join him as he got two free tickets from someone whose company sponsored the Dinner. So we got dolled up in our rented tuxedos (it was the first time I had worn one in 11 years!), went to JRs for a little preparty, walked around the HRC silent auction, and then took our seats. Of course, being the VIPs that we were (lol), got sat at a table right along the stage, about halfway from the center to the wall. So we had excellent views of the side of the stage and of all those about to walk out on stage to speak. The food was, of course, phenomenal, there was lots of free wine, and the event was styled glamorously. We kept calling it the Gay Oscars, because that was how it was styled and directed. During the silent auction we were approached and invited by someone to an open bar after party at Halo, so of course we went :). Not only that, the celebrities pictured in the previous posts were in attendance, as well. It was a HOT evening where I barely spent a dime and looked great. Can't wait until next year!

2) European Holiday

Two days after the HRC Dinner I hopped a plane and headed to Budapest. My first night was spent in the town of Eger, which is about two hours east of Budapest and is known for its red wine. It was a beautiful baroque town and a great day/overnight trip. The next day I headed back to Budapest on the train and got settled into my fantastic studio apartment in Budapest. I stayed there for four nights and just soaked up all Budapest had to offer. I went out, went to a thermal bath, tourned the Buda Castle, visited St. Stephen's Basilica, walked around Europe's largest Synagogue, and made my way up and down many a street. It's a great city with lots of engery that you can see is in constant flux. Many of the buildings could use a good scrubbing and a new paint job, but that kind of added to the "new frontier" feeling of the city. Don't get me wrong, despite that there were lots of awesome restaurants, bars, clubs, and shops. I'd go back in a minute and take an entourage with me.

I left Budapest on a 6.5 hour train to Prague, which was a neat journey (although I will admit it did get a little trying towards the end, as the train got fuller and fuller as the journey progressed). Prague was beautfiul and charming. It's slightly smaller than Budapest, feels more quaint, is more tidy and spotless, and has about twenty times more tourists. I spent three nights in Prague and did largely the same things that I did in Budapest. I walked all over town; took tons of pictures of the gorgeous buildings, bridges, vistas, and churches in town; experienced a touch of local nightlife (although I was there in the early part of the week); and ate some local grub. By the end of the trip I was ready to head home, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself in both cities and look forward to sharing my experiences with friends and family.

3) Halloween Party I

So last Saturday night was the first of three weekends of costume parties on my calendar this year. Now, normally I don't dress up for Halloween. Yes, I know it's Gay Christmas, but I've never been very creative at coming up with a costume and then respectufully implementing it. The expense, the time, the hassle ... it took the "owee" out of "Halloween." When I was 23 I went as Zorro when I was in San Francisco, and that looked and played well (but I have Keri to thank mostly for that costume looking as good as it did). Since then I think I have donned my trusty Mexican sarape and sombrero that I got in Nogales (border town south of Tucson) in 1993 on my family vacation a few times. Plus, many times I am tied up for Halloween or otherwise am not available for dress-up.

However, when Chuck told me that he, Abbas, and David had cooked up the idea of a group costume of Miss Universe contestants, I couldn't resist. Of course I had two whole days to pull it together, not including all the time dedicated to my job, of course. So I picked Hungary, since I had just been there and knew that all I had to do was find tight fitting clothes that didn't match and a wig with a bad dye job. After stops at H&M, Filene's Basement, a costume shop, and CVS, voila! I was Miss Hungary. I'm not posting pictures *yet* because I'm taking her out of mothballs two more times before all is said and done, and I may make some improvements to last week's debut. I have to say though, my fellow contestants were awesome. They really put their best feet forward. And the party was a blast :).

Hello Out There ...

2007-10-26T09:59:00.000Z

I know he's out there, but ...

So there's this guy that I've known peripherally for a while now, but we've never really spent any time together besides the occasional "hi" or what not. I've always found him quite attractive, and I think he feels the same way about me. Until recently he had been in a long-term relationship which ended about three months ago. So Sunday we were at a party that was pretty low-key, so we had time to talk to each other for good long while. We also left the party at the same time and then walked home together (his house was on the way to mine). We've also exchanged emails all week. I'm totally smitten with him now. Not only am I attracted to him physically, but his personality totally meshes with mine. He's outgoing, gregarious, silly, goofy, and socially at ease. However, I got the sense that because we have too many mutual friends that he wasn't really interested in dating me. Plus, he JUST got out of a long relationship so I figured that he wasn't interested in dating anyone again. Well, his last email mentions that he had a great date last night and that the guy and him got along smashingly. It was kind of like a punch in the chest. I know all hope is not lost, and I don't even know for sure that he knows that I would go out with him myself. We do have some different interests, but that obviously is not a dealbreaker.

It's just frustrating to meet someone that you are attracted to both personality-wise and physically, then they are unavailable for whatever reason. Yeah, I meet plenty of guys that I'm attracted to physically, but sometimes it's just that. I am very ready to date someone that I am attracted to beyond just looks, but it just hasn't worked out (well the Ex fit the bill, but that's history). I'm not jealous of anyone who has that with someone. Well, I take that back; I am jealous, but I'm not resentful or wish them ill will. Everyone deserves that, and I know I'll get that, but, while hookups are fun, they're far from lasting and meaningful. I guess that's what happens when you've been out on the gay town for eight years. You still enjoy what you've been doing for the past several years, but you want more. Or rather, different.

So here's to all of us. They're out there, we just all find them in our own due time. Some of us are just more patient than others :).

You Put, That Thing, On Me, That Thing, Baby

2007-10-04T22:36:00.000Z

You have to be dead inside if you don't feel like moving to this song and video. Oldie (well from 2005) but goodie!!!! God bless the Freemasons, my favorite DJs ...

Happy Post!

2007-10-02T23:54:00.000Z

Okay, so I've been droopy dog recently. So I thought I'd share these two good things (three if you count the sweet Bully above):

1) I weighed myself at the gym today, and I have lost a total of 17 pounds since my rededication to health about a month ago. I still can't believe it. I can really tell a difference in the mirror now. And it's taken an effort, but really hasn't been that bad ... at least now that I've broken many habits eating- and workout-wise.

2) Whenever I get a new cell phone, I throw the old one and it's associated chargers in a wooden box in my apartment just in case I need them in the future (should I lose my current one, it breaks temporarily, etc.). There wasn't enough room for it in there, so I had to clean out some other stuff. My old Sony Discman, which I think was even broken, was taking up too much room so I decided to chuck it. But before I threw it out, I thought to check and see if there was a CD in there. There was ... the CD that my a capella group cut in college!!! I had been looking for that thing for over three years. I thought it was long gone. It's the only CD with my voice on it, so it's special to me. It's now on my iTunes and iPod! Yippee!

3) Okay, there were three things. Today my friend Clay and I got fitted for tuxedos and had lunch, 'cause we're going to the HRC National Dinner on Saturday! I'm so excited, I have not worn a tuxedo in 11 years, and it's my first HRC Dinner. Plus we have friends attending Miss Adams Morgan (during which all attendees, as well as contestants, dress in drag) that same night, so we will all look fantastic for pre-event cocktails at Juniors. And I have to say, I will definitely take pictures ;).

The Incredible Changing Ex

2007-10-02T11:06:00.000Z

I was chatting with one of my close friends this morning about the Ex (I found out yet another juicy detail about the Ex that is none too pleasing to me), and he pointed out something that I really hadn't thought about before. I said that the Ex doesn't seem to be the same person that he was when I first met him, and my friend said "maybe you just never met the real (Ex)."

I never thought about it, but he may be on to something. When I met the Ex, he had only been back in DC for about a month after having been away for two years. He was staying in temporary quarters, didn't know a whole lot of people yet, and was just getting acclimated to his new job. Things were great at first, but since I've known him, he's changed, and not in a good way. He went from being a sweet, thoughtful, kind, caring person to morphing into some sort of selfish, shallow, tacky jezebel. He's not the person that I fell in love with, and maybe he never was. Maybe he was just getting his footing in town and has only recently gotten comfortable enough here in DC to let his true colors show.

I've removed him from chat buddy lists, dropped him from my top friends on MySpace, and am trying my best to not run into him or hear about him in any way. I did want to be friends with him, but maybe I don't now if he's really the person that I see him as now. I am usually an optimistic person when it comes to people, and I do think there is some good inside him. However, he's just emotionally immature, and until that changes, I don't know if there is a future for us, even as friends. It's hard to tell right now since the wounds are still fresh, but who knows what the future holds.

It's weird, but I seem to be most concerned with saving face in this whole scenario. Everyone knows that the Ex pulled the plug on us -- not me -- so I'm already seen as the dumped. Lots of people probably know that I'm still struggling with the situation a month later, but I don't want to seem unstable or obsessed. And the more his true colors come out, I don't want it to be a poor reflection on my judgement and character. I know it's inaccurate and wrong to think of things in terms of "winner" and "loser," but that's how I've been approaching this situation emotionally. I want to come out the winner, or at least as a non-loser.

'Cause I'm a Survivor ... :)

San Francisco, You Filthy Whore ...

2007-10-01T18:27:00.000Z

So I'm back from San Francisco, and of course the idea that I would come back on the red-eye, clean up, and head to the office was certainly laughable when I landed with no voice, a hangover, and chapped lips. Once home I took a four hour nap and am still zapped with no energy. Plus I have tons of laundry to fold that I washed on Thursday. And dirty dishes to wash. And I have to unpack. But it was all worth it :).

Chris and Brian had a couple's weekend since their two-year anniversary is next weekend and they'll all be in Chicago for the marathon. Bernie and I didn't see them until Sunday afternoon, so it was just the two of us single gals on the town on Friday and Saturday night. We didn't do anything out of the ordinary, just a little shopping and a lot of going out.

Well, Sunday was out of the ordinary for sure. Folsom Street Fair is about five blocks long and they have all the requisite fair food and vendor booths. Well, the fair food is typical, but the vendor booths were not. Lots of porn sites, leather/fetish wear, flogging demonstrations and the like. Very interesting. And I can't even begin to tackle the outfits that were on display. Just Google Folsom Street Fair and I'm sure there will be a wide collection of images. It was fun to walk around and take it all in.

Mercifully I am not traveling this week. I need several days here in town to hit the gym hard again, eat very well, and prepare for my trip to Europe in one week.

I didn't think about the Ex all that much this past weekend. I did get into a little funk on Saturday night before we went out because I found out that the person with whom he hooked up at the beach was in the house with us and is an acquaintance/friend of mine. I'm not even remotely mad at the friend, I'm just disappointed and annoyed at the Ex. It's like he's not even the same person that he was when I first met him. I've been surprised at how selfish he has been in the aftermath of our breakup. He seems to have no regard for my feelings and won't let that even begin to get in the way of his sleeping around. It'd be less of an issue if it was with people that I didn't know. Somehow his sleeping around with people who know us both makes me look foolish, or at least that's what I think/feel. This won't last forever, but right now it still stings.

But this weekend, yeah, it was a great confidence booster. I'm as thin as I've been in a long time, all of my pants and shorts are annoyingly loose, and I got lots of looks and attention from the boys. And I have one less pair of underwear than I had before I left. Oh, shenanigans, thy name is San Francisco.

In the Blink of an Eye ...

2007-09-26T21:34:00.000Z

... things can change. It turns out that I am, in fact, going to San Francisco this weekend. The Ex sent me a chat message this morning telling me that he's decided to back out because he miscalculated his expenses this month. He just moved and he's broke, after all. Kind of funny that he realized that within the past 24 hours, but either way, I'm going!

Two things stuck out of my phone conversation yesterday with the Ex that actually are good for me. They're not good things per se, and they reflect poorly on his character. While I don't delight in anyone's faults, it is starting to help me see that he's not the infallable guy that I once thought he was. He's still a good person at heart, I do believe, but he screwed up once and disappointed me once yesterday. He's human so of course he's not perfect, but to me he was in some ways, and I have to start to realize that it's not the case.

L.A. has been a fine trip, albeit another short one. I kind of was looking forward to doing nothing this weekend in DC, but come on, rest in DC can wait another weekend.

I didn't mention this before, but this weekend is Folsom Street fair in San Francisco, which, for those who don't know, is a big leather/fetish weekend. When we booked our ultra-cheap United tickets (thanks to Virgin America's fare drop and United's fare fuck-up), we just decided we'd go that weekend for the hell of it. Now, lord knows that I'm no angel, but Folsom will definitely be a bit off my normal routine. The only black leather thing I own is a light jacket (well, and dress shoes). And the only black rubber I own are the Goodyears on my car. But hell, I'm just there to have a good time and enjoy the scenery. Maybe I'll learn (or meet) a few new tricks.

(Speaking of, does anyone have this guy's contact information, Friendster, MySpace, or Facebook profile lying about somewhere? Would you be a doll and pass it along to me? Thanks dahlings ...)

The Case of the Ex

2007-09-25T21:07:00.000Z

Now let me preface this post by pointing out that this is not going to be a fun or entertaining one. I'm going through a lot right now emotionally, and I just feel the need to get some of it out. It's probably going to be a long one, too. :)

So the Ex and I are officially done. I mean, we were taking a break for a while, but on the Friday before Labor Day weekend -- before we all went to the beach together, mind you -- he basically told me that we were never, ever getting back together and that he had decided over the course of our break that he just wants to be friends with me. Fair enough, but we're talking about emotions here, and they don't always follow logic.

At some point since I have known the Ex, and I'm not 100% sure if it was when we were actually dating or breaking, I fell in love with him. I never told him so, but I slowly figured it out. I saw in him what I want in a boyfriend/husband/partner. He's someone who is not just ambitious, intelligent, funny, socially outgoing, and attractive, but he had that quality about him that seals the deal ... it's that intrinsic personality quality that you can't define on paper -- you just feel it.

But he didn't. He told me that he realized that his affection for me was more of an infatuation rather than the buddings of love. He thinks that I am a good person, but I'm just not what he is looking for in a mate. But more to the point, he just didn't want to date anyone right now. He's young, out of the closet for a mere two years, and relatively new to DC. Two years after I was out of the closet I, too, was probably in the same place.

The Ex is my second ex. The first, when I was 25, also broke my heart. However, when we broke up, he vanished. I very rarely saw him again, and we certainly didn't have mutual friends (well, we were still cordial and friendly to one another's friends when we saw each other, but we didn't run in the same social circles). This time, the situation is much different. Since the Ex was new to town and since I'm a nice guy who knows how tough it can be to meet people, I took it upon myself to introduce him to my friends and make sure people added him to their social rolodexes. The wisest move? Probably not, but I do have a habit of putting others that I care about in front of my needs; I look at it as a double-edged risk/benefit of being a kind person. So the potential existed that I was going to run into the Ex a lot.

Example #1: the beach house. The Ex and I were two of 16 people who would be sharing a house in Rehoboth Beach, Del., over Labor Day weekend and the following week. I invited him to join the house after we started our break, so it wasn't like we were going to be there as a couple per se. Well, since he told me that we were officially over the day before we leave, I had to deal with a raw, open wound right in front of him for three straight days of beach, boys, and parties. I did pretty good the first two days, but on the morning of day three I overheard him telling someone, albeit somewhat discreetly, that he hooked up the night before. Overhearing that flipped a switch, or rather, stabbed me in the heart. I excused myself and broke down in private with one of my close friends. However, I had to spend the rest of the day faking it with a big smile on my face while inside I was dying, hurting, and just wanting to crawl in a corner and cry my eyes out. I cut my trip short (I was staying longer) because I just needed to not be around him anymore.

I realized that he really didn't understand what I was going through, so I wrote him a long email explaining how I was feeling. I asked him to not talk to me, text me, chat with me, or call me for the next four weeks (until our five person trip to San Francisco). He said he would do as I asked, and he did.

However, three weeks later -- this past Saturday -- some friends decided to have an end of the summer cookout and reunite everyone from the beach house. Both the Ex and I were invited, and I decided that I would attend knowing he would be there. I figured that us mingling at a group cookout would be a somewhat easier way to re-engage with him than on a long flight, just the two of us. Our first conversation was good, albeit stiff, and I seemed to do well at the party for the bulk of the night. However, after a few drinks for everyone, I again overhear a story being told by him. It was about another hookup at the beach; one that took place after I left. At that moment it was as if the past three weeks of progress were completely wiped away, and I again fell apart. Two good friends looked after me and comforted me for the rest of the night, although the wound was reopened. Of course, the charming Southerner I am, I put on a brave face so that most everyone who wasn't paying close attention wouldn't have known that I was upset. This may not even have happened were it not for my tipsiness.

Sunday was a bad day, and I was under and emotional cloud all day, still very much hurting like I was on that Monday and Tuesday after Labor Day. My friends have been great, but I know they are utterly exhausted of hearing me talk about the Ex. I went to the doctor to see about a prescription for xanax, but I only really started taking it a few days ago when the pain and anxiety over the past couple of days became greater.

I have gone through a range of emotions from sadness and hurt to anger and rage. I feel or have felt wounded, unloved, unwanted, fat (despite losing a net 11lbs as of Friday, *pats self on back*), ugly, undesirable, and worthless. I have been searching for relief in a variety of ways with very limited or short-term success. I just can't seem to shake him from my thoughts, and I wonder if I'll ever get over this. I listen to depressing music alternated with raging "I hate you" music. I know that I will, time heals all wounds, blah blah. I know that it wouldn't be a cliché if it wasn't somewhat true.

To make matters worse, my stress level has been through the roof in anticipation of this San Francisco trip coming up on Friday -- a trip that was planned back in July post-break but pre-breakup. It's my close friends, but they're friends with him, too. Do I go? Do I not go? I want to go; I paid the airfare after all, and I love San Francisco. After a lot of soul searching and some conversations with the Ex, I've decided that it's just too soon. I hate it; I wish I was further along in the healing process, but I'm not. I'm embarassed, frankly, that I can't seem to handle being friends right now. I'm sure he's thinking "what's with all the drama?" Maybe he's right. Maybe I am just being too dramatic and am dragging this thing out unecessarily. However, in conversations with my friends who have experienced similar pain, I think that I'm doing fine. I just don't want to look like the unstable crazed ex-boyfriend to my Ex. Why do I care? Because I do. I'm already the dumpee; I don't want to be the crazy wild-eyed dumpee that breaks out into a rage when I see him.

So that's where I am. It's a big rollercoaster of emotions for me right now. I know passing time will help, as well as limiting contact with him for a while longer. I want to be friends, I really do. I just can't right now. Hopefully I will be able to sometime soon, and hopefully he will still want to. That's the idealist in me.

Back, Back, Back It Up Now

2007-09-24T14:00:00.000Z

(and lemme lemme UP grade you ...)

So my contract with Verizon Wireless is up, and it's time to get a new phone. My phone has been great, but it's starting to show it's age. It's really beat-up looking, it freezes up sometimes, and, well, I guess that's enough.

However, the thought of transferring all my numbers to my new phone terrifies me. I would have to take the day off of work to do it, it would be so long. I knew Verizon had a service where you could back up your numbers nightly, but I also assumed that they'd charge me for this service. Well, lo and behold, if you sign up for online account access -- something I did eons ago -- you can get it for free! So I just signed up for backup service, and if you're a Verizon customer and haven't done it yet, I suggest you do it right now: http://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/landingpages/backupProtection.jsp.

Now, for the new phone. I think I'm going to get the LG VX8700:

It's a skinny bitch and it's really hot. It even has a cool caller ID screen that when not illuminated, blends in to the existing chrome on the phone. It'll cost me $80 even with my new every two discount of $100, but I don't care ... how often do you get a new cell phone, anyway? And I want one that is small. I don't need a keyboard or a big ass camera on it. The weird thing is that the ex and I both had the original Motorola e815 (pictured at top), and he's already gotten the LG.

I've also got to upgrade my plan, too, as my texting has dramatically spiked over the past couple of months. Right now I pay $5 for 250 texts a month, but I'm running over it. In fact, I have texted 234 times this billing cycle and it's already pretty early. I've gotten to be a popular hen in the barnyard apparently! :)

Song & The South

2007-09-20T00:01:00.000Z

If you've not heard this song, listen. It's awesome. Plus the lyrics are good (for me, for the time being). Apologize by OneRepublic and Timbaland.

I continue to struggle about the ex, but things have certainly progressed in a positive direction over the past few weeks. We're going to be at the same social gathering on Saturday, which will be the first time that we've seen each other or spoken since Rehoboth. I'm a little nervous about it, but I'm sure it'll be fine. Plus, like Bernie pointed out, better to test the waters Saturday before I am thrust on a plane with him for five hours - just him and me - to San Francisco next weekend. I'll just have a xanax with my first cocktail.

I went to Atlanta last weekend for fun, and it was. I spent a lot of time with just Jamie, which was great since we haven't had alone time with just the two of us in so long. We even watched football all day Saturday, so it brought back good memories. Rich and I went out in Midtown Saturday night, which was also fun. Lord, walking into Blake's brought back a ton of memories ... it was just the second gay bar I ever set foot in, and it's a place where I have spent many a weekend. But then on Sunday Rich, Jamie, Victoria, Rob (not that Rob), and I went to the Green Manor, this big old Southern mansion about 15 minutes past the airport in the frozen-in-time blue collar suburb of Union City. This place has a killer Sunday buffet brunch, and my friends and I have blown through there on many a Sunday. Now, it's a church crowd and locals place, so a gaggle of gays and gay-friendlies kind of stand out. And if you know me, I kind of stick out anyway. There's one waitress that's always working on Sundays, and we call her Dixie Carter b/c she looks like Dixie Carter (Julia Sugarbaker, for those who don't know). I have no idea what her name is, and I honestly don't want to know. We walked in and she instantly remembered me: "well, I haven't seen you in a long time." I have not been in this place in three years easily, so yeah, that's the kind of impression I make :).

I flew back Monday morning and five hours later I was back at National for a flight to Miami. It was an overnight work trip; short, but productive. OH, the highlight of the trip was probably running into Halo South Beach. Yes, Halo, the bar across from my house apparently opened up a location there just a month ago. I was just walking around after dinner and randomly came across it. It looks like what you'd expect the Miami cousin of Halo DC to look like ... loungey, white interiors with lots of low neon lights. I didn't go in as I wasn't feeling boozie on Monday night. But good to know there's a decent gay bar in South Beach; contrary to popular belief, gay nightlife in Miami sucks. Most of the gays apparently head to Lauderdale for their nightlife.

Fortunately I won't travel until next Tuesday when I go to L.A., as I'm whipped and glad to be in my own bed for the next several nights. Plus it's much easier to stick to my diet and exercise regimen in town than it is on the road. Still doing well (with the exception of blowing it on purpose on Sunday at the Green Manor - which I don't regret one bit :)).

A Sage for the Social Set

2007-09-12T14:22:00.000Z

So apparently I'm the new hotness and didn't know it according to Express. On page 36 of yesterday's Express there's an excerpt from this post. I had no idea until Bernie emailed our inner circle of friends to share the news. And what did they choose to highlight? Oh, my musings on why I shouldn't communicate with people when I'm drunk. I will say that it is written grammatically correct, so maybe that's why the newsies picked up on it. Yep, there was a dramatic spike in my page visits overnight.

Now the pressure's on ... what other wisdom can I impart now as a spiritual leader to the social set. Well, maybe I'm getting carried away. My guidance was more Elizabeth Post than the Dalai Lama.

1. Order rail booze if you're mixing it with something in a bar. Yes, I know you hate that morning-after headache, and yes, I know you just got a raise, it's your birthday, someone else is buying (well scratch that), whatever. If you are going to mix run-of-the-mill cranberry juice cocktail from a bar gun with that vodka, don't order Grey Goose ... Zelko will be just fine. Now, if you are making your own cranberry juice from a juicer with no added sugar, then maybe I could see you wanting to mix the best with the best. Same goes for bourbon/whiskey and ginger ale. Y'all, that's probably Sam's Choice or Kirkland's ginger ale in that bar gun, not Seagram's or Canada Dry (is that fancy ginger ale? I don't know).

2. Ditch the cards; use the cell. When I first came out and started hitting the bars, you would find all these little pieces of paper and golf pencils strewn all over the bar on which you could exchange phone numbers with your special someone. It was very handy. Most everyone had a cell phone in 1999, but texting was a very new thing. Beyond that, no one had caught on to the notion that you could store someone's phone number in your phone without having to track down paper and pencil or keep up with said paper when the exchange took place. Now when I meet someone I just dial their phone number right there or vice-versa, and the number is in the phone. The drawback is the cumbersome "enter the name" part of the process. Depending on what time of the evening you make your love connection (or that person who said that they know of a great job/roommate for you), you may not want to fiddle with the person's whole name. If you're really in the bag, just find it within yourself to type in their first initial. At least you've narrowed down the name to one in a hundred instead of one in a thousand. Unless it's the letter X.

3. Stash away your cab ride home early in the night. One of the luxuries of living where I live is that I am within easy walking distance of most of the bars that I frequent. However, when I decide to mix things up a bit and head out of the 'hood, I usually won't feel like hoofing it home or waiting 20 minutes on nighttime Metro trains to bring me home. Enter the cab ride. But how do you make sure you have enough money for that valuable ride home (or elsewhere) at the appointed hour? Simple: take $10 (or $15, $20, whatever) out of your wallet at the beginning of the night and stash it somehere ... the fifth pocket on your jeans, the area under your driver's license, in your shoe, etc. That way you are assured that you won't blow your ride home on a round of shots for you and your newly-found bar friends.

4. Rethink drunk food. It's human nature (I suppose) to crave food at the end of a night of partying (well, drinking). Don't head straight to Jumbo Slice or Yum's (please god not the latter); consider something less greasy, like a turkey sandwich. 7-11 is very close to my house, and upon entering the store, I will invariably be drawn to the tasty taquitos. I've gotten myself trained to take three extra steps to the cold sandwich section and grab a turkey sandwich instead. Yes, it's probably the same amount of carbs, but the fat and calorie content is most certainly lower than those pre-made fried cheesy delights. Better than that, keep some easy-to-grab, not-that-disgusting munchies at your house: peanuts, beef jerkey, baked chips. Yes, I know it's not what you want, but would you rather give up your drinking or give up your greasy end-of-the-night snacks? That's what I thought.

5. Water, water, everywhere. You will need water--lots of it--to stave off that hangover the next day. Do whatever you can to make sure you have access to water both before you go to bed and when you invariably wake up in the morning to go to the bathroom before heading back to bed. Put a bottle or glass of water by your bed (but don't knock it over when you get home). Make sure your water-filtering pitcher is full before you leave. Keep your Nalgene full and in the fridge. Whatever ... just do what you can to make sure that you won't have to make much effort to get water when you walk in the door, because you are not going to want to do anything but head straight to the bed.

Okay, you've got five to work on and perfect before the next lesson.

"You want this life ... those choices are necessary."

2007-09-11T11:55:00.000Z

Miranda said it to Andrea in their Mercedes in Paris in one of their last exchanges in the movie; however, I have thought back to this line several times in the past week and a half.

My first day back in the gym after the ex dumped me, someone had on
The Devil Wears Prada on one of the TVs near where I was doing crunches. I don't what it was about hearing it at that moment, as I've seen the movie a few times before, but the quote has been sort of a mantra of mine since then.

Choices

Life truly is defined in many ways by the choices you make. Right now I am making some hard choices about my diet and exercise. I've decided to channel the hurt and anger from the demise of this relationship into a rededication of myself to my health. I want to look good, and I am going to do so. Those first few days where you don't have much of an appetite? When I did feel like eating, it wasn't junk food: it was spinach salads, lean protein, the like. I cut out snacking, cut way back on soda and carbs, and have been as good as I possibly can with following these goals. When I have a temptation, I recite a modified Miranda Priestly quote in my head: "if you want that body, these choices are necessary."

Exercise has also been a focal point. I've done my damndest to hit the gym daily, either doing cardio or weights. Already I'm seeing some results. Another challenge when it comes to exercise for me is my travel schedule. Historically I'd just stick to cardio and eschew weights when I was on the road, citing the fact that most hotel gyms have zero weights and just a few cardio machines. However, this trip to San Diego gave me a chance to step it up. I went with my friend John to the 24 Hour Fitness in Hillcrest, paid the $10 guest pass fee, and worked with him. John is awesome; he is a spinning instructor and someone who makes working out a priority. He really helped me see where I needed to improve technique-wise and pushed me while we were there yesterday. Even though I can already tell a difference in my body, it was inspiring to know that I can overcome the next plateau by forcing myself to adopt new exercise habits in the gym. Yeah, it's tough, but like eating habits, if I can break through those, I can break through and make new progress at the gym. He encouraged me to purchase a few training sessions at my gym, noting that he, too, had to learn to work out, and "I used to be just where you are, trust me; I know."

So I've already had a net loss of six pounds, and I already look better with my clothes off :). Here's to continued success in this arena.

Why?

2007-09-10T15:51:00.000Z

Why do amateur fliers insist on sitting next to one another for an hour flight? Quit trying to trade seats with the person three rows in front of you so you can sit next to so-and so ... just be glad you have a seat and that the plane is leaving on time (perhaps). Sit down and read something!

Why does the TSA agent at one airport want to see your boarding pass when you go through the security screening and another one look at you like you're an idiot for showing it to him/her at another airport?

Why can't I find a dress shirt with a 36" sleeve unless I want to pay full price at a department store?

Why don't people in public ever want to take responsiblities for their actions? I would say Republicans, but Congressman Bill Jefferson also falls into this category. However, accountability does seem to be more of GOP issue than Dem.

Why have I not learned that you should not text, email, or call anyone with whom you are not close friends unless you are sober? This rule was making itself known to me even back in college. At least I can take comfort that others have not learned the same lesson.

Why does the pain you feel when someone you love dumps you so powerful that it can swallow you whole and render you paralyzed? Why isn't there a way to speed the healing process up? Believe me, over the past week I have tried, and there ain't.

Why do I think "oh I have some great stuff I need to blog about" and then stare blankly into Blogger's compose screen when the time comes? I guess I should start sending texts to myself as reminders.

Why does dental insurance always suck?

I'm Not Dead

2007-09-09T11:13:00.000Z

I'm working on like four blog posts right now, so I promise I'm not dead or anything. Yes, one is ex-boyfriend related, but I'm still working through all those emotions so I want to make sure they're publishable :).

I'm heading to San Diego this afternoon for two nights for work. Next weekend will be Atlanta, for fun ... no work. More to come ....

Like a Child Misses Their Blanket ...

2007-08-31T21:42:00.000Z

Now, I'm not the type to post lyrics to a song or poem or what have you, but the lyrics to Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry" are ringing very strong and true to me today. Needless to say, I've had a tough day emotionally, and while I'll be fine soon, I'm hurting right now.

I'm going to Rehoboth Beach, Del., tomorrow ... hopefully I will be able to relax with him there. Y'all each have great holiday weekends!

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

2007-08-22T12:06:00.000Z

That would be YouTube, which brought me the two highlights of my day today, both starring Bea Arthur:

Nick told me that if he saw the first video live, he would have "shit (his) pants and passed out" from excitement.

Filipino! Filipino!

2007-08-19T23:24:00.000Z

Okay, apparently there is some prison in the Phillippines that has come up with a creative way to keep their inmates busy: teaching them to line dance, en masse, to random songs. But that's not the best part. The best part is that someone had the bright idea to tape the final routines and then upload them to YouTube!

Michael Jackson's "Thriller:"

Yes, they even got one of the inmates to dress up like a girl. Well, maybe he's not dressed up ....

Next up, a hodgepodge of a couple of routines in one video. Some Black Eyed Peas song that I had never heard of before, and in the last two minutes, a "cha cha number" (the poster's description, not mine):

My absolute favorite part is about the 2:02 mark when the singer starts screaming "Filipino! Filipino! Filipino! etc." over and over.

There's also one where they dance for a bit to the Village People's "In The Navy," and, in a tribute to American sports fans, "YMCA."

Not to be outdone, though, the ladies join the men to offer up their talents in some selections from the classic comedy Sister Act:

I don't really think I have much more I can add to this, so I'll let the videos speak for themselves. Of course, like all other YouTube offerings, you can find related videos of other Filipino prison line dancing, I'm sure.

Your Children Are Going to Die

2007-08-15T17:05:00.000Z

This morning the producers of CNN's "American Morning" must have all gotten together and decided today was "let's freak out parents" day, since the following stories were covered during the time I was getting ready for work:

1. Spontaneous combustion caused a playground to catch on fire in Arlington, Texas. Live interview with the city's fire chief with the smoldering, smokey, half-melted playground behind him.

2. What do you do if you think your child has lead poisoning? Should you take him/her for tests? CNN's Chief Medical Correspondant, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, interviewed a mother about it.

3. The Chinese Poison Train rolls on, this time thanks to lead in seemingly half of the toys made by Mattel. Oh, by the way, you can't tell which toys are affected by looking at them. Probably because everything in a toy store looks the same: excessive packaging and bright colors. Chinese toy manufacturers are on suicide watch.

4. Some middle-aged unemployed guy who lives out of his car in L.A. was arrested on the campus of UCLA for hanging out around the University's day care center. Oh but it gets better. Since showing up in Southern California earlier this summer, he's already been arrested once and been given a restraining order to keep him away from children. He has admitted on camera to being a pedophile and even keeps a blog where he posts pictures of "LGs" (that would be "little girls") and the best places to watch them. But my question is, where does he blog if he lives out of his car? He used to live with his parents (shocker), so logic would dictate that he just used their PC. I guess he's using the public library now, huh?

It just annoys the piss out of me how the traditional media will jump at ANY chance to do a story about kids being in danger. The thing is, it works! As a parent, how are you NOT going to stay tuned to catch a story that they tease you about before going to commercial:

"Next, a story of special interest to any parent who has a child that may have ingested sugar over the past two years; could it have been tained with an odorless, tasteless chemical that can cause your child to drop dead? More when we come back ...."

UGH!!! Will some enterprising communications company just invent the Parents' News Network and just move all those stories over there? Thanks, much appreciated!

Quick Bites - Tuesday

2007-08-14T10:44:00.000Z

Did anyone else, upon hearing the news about Hurricane Flossie approaching Hawaii, instantly think of the line in Fergie's "Fabulous" where she goes "f-f-f-flossie, floss-ay!" That's the first thing that popped in my head this morning when I was watching CNN and they reported about it.

Does anyone else have less respect for Cal Ripken now that he has went to work for the Bush Administration as a PR-type envoy for the State Department? I wanted to barf when I saw him on TV having senseless banter with Karen Hughes.

I'm heading to Seattle next week for work, which will be my first work trip since the end of June. It's safe to say that I am OVER sitting in my office doing research and analysis. I have a quick two-night trip to Atlanta the following week.

I continue to daydream and look for tickets to Barcelona for Thanksgiving; they're only $500 total from DC over that weekend. Not like I'm going to Prague and Budapest in October, and not like I've already redeemed frequent flier miles for my ticket home for Thanksgiving (which I, of course, can get redeposited). But it's fun to daydream, right? Everyone has to have their indulgence ... travel is mine.

Is summer over yet? Lord knows I would wear shorts and short sleeves every day everywhere I went if I could, but the temps (minus today) have been fairly miserable over the past two weeks here, including two days over 100. At least today it was cool enough for me to walk to work and is supposed to only be 88 for the high. I can't remember the last day we had a forcasted high below 90.

Speaking of changing seasons, I'm so excited for (college) football season! Of course, that is not news -- I always am. I've got the schedules for Clemson & Wake (personal connections), UNC (sister's soon-to-be-grad school), the Chickens (USC b/c I have to follow them due to friends of mine who went there), and Maryland and UVA (local) on the wall of my office. I'm already supposed to go to a Clemson game when I go down to Atlanta the weekend of September 15. Clemson plays at Maryland on October 27. Nick has talked about going to Purdue (his alma mater) for a game at some point this fall (and I'll try to tag along, as I've never been to a Big 10 game). I haven't been to a Wake game in years, so I'd like to pop down for one of those ... maybe on a weekend when I'm down visiting my sister, since Chapel Hill and Winston-Salem are only 1.5 hours apart. Perhaps I can incorporate a game while I'm traveling for work, too.

Speaking of football ... Tom, I'm still waiting ....

Dick Will Make You Slap Somebody

2007-08-06T22:52:00.000Z

I cannot imagine how I lived in Atlanta for 5.5 years and never saw or heard of this woman. Alexyss K. Tylor hosts or hosted a show on Atlanta Public Access TV. She is amazing ...

Don't Call it a Comeback ...

2007-08-01T23:55:00.000Z

Yes, I've been out of touch for the past 5-6 weeks. As it's getting late and The Daily Show is coming on, I'll just do bullet points to review the month of July (and the tail end of June):

1. San Francisco Pride was awesome. We went out, we danced, we shopped, we ate, and just gayed it up. Brett Henrikson at the Gift Mart was awesome, and David Knapp was also good the next night at Sound Factory (?), I think. That's been a while so my memory is obviously fading slightly :).

2. I'm single again. The Boy decided soon after I got back from SF that he just had too much going on in his life and felt like he couldn't be there as much as he would like to be as a boyfriend. He would rather be friends right now and not date anyone. His points were quite valid and I totally understood. Still, it continues to be tough for me, as we still hang out all the time. He's a man of his word, though, and seems to have no interest in dating anyone. I'm so used to lying gay men with ulterior motives that it's taken some time to learn that he means what he says. Maybe he'll want to date again in a month, maybe a year, maybe never. I'm not waiting around for him, per se, but I'm still quite smitten with him and will limit my relationships with men to the very, very short-term variety, at least for now.

3. Work has been pretty slow as I've been doing a lot of planning and office work. I've not been traveling at all, and consequently have been going stir crazy in the office.

4. My father spent a week in the hospital a couple of weeks ago due to heart arrhythmia (thanks firefox spellcheck!). He's fine, but he did come out with a pacemaker. He just has to work harder at losing weight, which will help his heart, his high blood pressure, and his adult-onset diabetes (which is type 2, right?).

5. Last week I spent five days with my family in Edisto Beach, S.C., at a beach house we rented from a family friend. It was a great time (see above picture on beach). We ate great food, went to the beach, went running, had a few refreshing adult beverages, played games, and just enjoyed each other's company. My dad came down the day after he got out of the hospital; he could either rest at home or rest at the beach, so he did the latter. Saturday night and Sunday I spent in Charleston with my friend Matt, which was awesome. We went out to several bars/clubs in Charleston, some of the homosexual variety, as well (Charleston has a small but fun and non-sketchy gay scene). My stay was extended some thanks to the thunderstorms around Dulles. My flight was delayed 4.5 hours before I said fuck it and decided to just fly back at 6am Monday instead. Had I hung around and took my original flight I would have arrived at 1:30am Monday morning instead of 8:30pm Sunday like I had been scheduled to do.

6. I've got some other trips coming down the pipeline soon ... a week at Rehoboth Beach, Del., with 14 others starting Labor Day weekend and going through the next week. I have the vacation time and the week will be paid for, so why not?

Next up will be a weekend back in Atlanta the weekend of September 15. I haven't been to ATL since November, 2006, plus Jamie, Victoria, and I will probably go to the third Clemson game of the year on Saturday. Sunday is yardwork day, and I plan on digging a french drain in my backyard that day.

Two weeks later Aaron, Bernie, Chris, Brian and I will be going to San Francisco for Folsom Street Fair weekend. Not that I'm a leather person per se (shocking, huh?), but I hear it's quite a sight to see in person. The catalyst for the trip was the $150 r/t airfares we all got on United when they goofed and matched Virgin America's introductory one-way ticket price as a roundtrip. Thanks United!

And then the biggie this fall: October 8 through 17 in Prague and Budapest. First time to both places! Nick is trying to go when I go to Budapest, since he studied abroad there and wants to go back and visit a friend there. I just want to go b/c I hear they're both awesome, and I want to get there before both countries go on the Euro.

Okay, bedtime, more later!

A Celebration of the Pleasures of the Anus

2007-06-20T02:09:00.000Z

... or what my sister says should be the name of Pride festivals around the world. It's a little bit of an inside joke thanks to her roommate's sister. She told me "I expect to see this in your blog," so I've done my part, lol.

The rainbow flags are already up in San Francisco, and I've been able to sweet-talk my way to a suite upgrade for the weekend, so things are lining up. Chris, Bernie, and Nick get here tomorrow, and Chuck arrives Thursday night. I won't see the former three until Thursday afternoon, though, since they're all staying with Chris's Mom tomorrow night. It's my first San Francisco Pride, and I'm curious to see how it compares to Atlanta and DC prides. Being the Granddaddy of them all, I'm sure it's quite a sight ... probably very close to Mardi Gras in Sydney. Sadly, the Freemasons won't be spinning at this event like they did in Sydney. The only headlining act that I've heard of at SF Pride is:

Exposé!!! Okay, that is kind of hot. Some "I Wonder if I Take You Home," "Point of No Return," and, of course, some "Seasons Change." I'm not sure if we'll fool with trying to see them, but still, good to know that they appreciate some 80s idols here (previously they've had Jody Watley and Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam).

It truly is a inclusive festival for all flavors of the homogay here though:

Our Latin Stage with the best national and international performances taking place on our community stages - our third year stages include the Trans Stage and Homo Hip Hop - as well as our veteran stages, the Asian and Pacific Islander Stage, NectArena Women's Stage, Soul of Pride African American Stage, Latin stage and more! We also have gathering spaces for the Clean & Sober community, kids, elders, and the Deaf & hard-of-hearing.

But primarily we'll just be hanging out with one another, going out to bars, and hitting the dance floor. Should be fun!

North vs. South

2007-06-16T20:26:00.001Z

A big topic of conversation in the DC area is where the South starts. In such a discussion, someone, usually from the North, will say "well the Mason-Dixon Line seperates Pennsylvania from Maryland, so Maryland, and DC, are in the South." This is a 1767 mentality. The Mason-Dixon Line was drawn in that year to settle a border dispute between Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Delaware.

Another tired arguement is "well, since Virginia was in the Confederacy, and all those streets in NoVa are named for Confederate people, the South starts as soon as you cross the Potomac." I don't buy that.

Folks, let a Southerner tell you where the South starts. I typically say to most people around here that the South starts once you leave the NoVa DC suburbs, or once you leave the 703 area code (which is exclusively for the Northern Virginia suburbs) going south or southwest. However, this person conducted a little experiment using another methodology that I have invoked from time to time: the South starts where sweet tea is served in abundance.

Essentially, this person went to every McDonald's in the state of Virginia and found out which ones serve sweet tea. He/she then plotted them all on a map. Black dots served unsweetened tea only, and orange dots served both. It's very intersting to see the breakdown. From that information, he/she plotted the "Sweet Tea Line" to indicate where the South roughly starts.

The area between the 703/540 area code border and the Sweet Tea Line is actually what I call "South Lite." Cities like Richmond and Charlottesville fall in this category. They're historically South but don't display all the hard-core Southern traits ... strong accents and an indigenious style of barbecue being two of them. Plus, they have a higher proportion of Northerners living there than most Southern cities, at least I have ascertained from my visits. But don't fret none, y'all are still Southern, just a little different!

I have similar opinions on Kentucky, too, since the state is kind of split in half through the center between Midwest and South. Not sure what sociological experiments need to be applied there to ascertain the cultural border ... guess that's up to another grad student!

There's also a similar border heading west and northwest where the South turns into "Texas" or "Heartland" ... the border runs roughly between Missouri and Arkansas and takes a sharp turn south to split Arkansas from Oklahoma. I refuse to claim Oklahoma as the South. Missouri isn't Southern to me, either. It's kind of a transition state between the Midwest and the Heartland/Great Plains. Of course, true Southerners do make an exception for Charlene Frazier Stillfield of Poplar Bluff, Mo.! I've also spent a few days in Northwest Arkansas (a.k.a. Wal-Mart Land), and it's not very Southern to me, either. It's more "Missourish-Heartland" than it is Southern.

Of course, this is just my humble opinion, although I do speak with authority on the South. Others feel free to weigh in with your own cultural demarkation methods, be it in the South or other regions of the U.S.

Coming Out Insurance

2007-06-13T23:35:00.000Z

My friend Jason in Chicago sent this to me. It's a funny video.

Pride Time, Part One

2007-06-13T10:39:00.001Z

So it's pride season yet again. I always enjoy pride just because it's kind of like Gay Christmas. Everyone's feeling festive, lots of people gather in the same place for a parade, and many special events and parties that happen only annually take place. None of us really did much on Friday night (primarily because we partook in the all-you-can-drink special at JRs on Thursday) so we could be fresh on Saturday. So after the gym and lunch, we all met up at Chuck and David's for a very fun pre-party. Lots of people dropped by at various times, the weather was nice, it was a very relaxing vibe. The Boy got to spend a lot of time with my friends and meet the ones whom he hadn't yet met. We all went to the parade, which was your normal gay parade fare (though it did seem kind of strange to me for the parade to just end like it did ... I was half expecting Santa Claus ... it was a parade after all!) Afterwards we back to Chuck's, then to another party, then to Green Lantern b/c Bobby T was spinning. Oh, it was a progressive party of delights! Sunday The Boy and I slept in a little, went to the Whole Foods breakfast buffet, and then met up with everyone for a quick street fair tour. As it was your typical blazing sun on the Pennsylvania Avenue asphalt with a lot of militant lesbian rappers and folk singers, we didn't stay for more than 90 minutes tops.

Bernie, Nick, Chris, Chuck, and I are heading out to San Francisco pride next week, which should be a shit-show-on-wheels to say the least. I'm going to be there for work earlier that week but am extending my stay to Monday, June 25, for the fesitivites. Funny how it works out that I can do that and essentially have work pay for my airfare out there, lol.

The Boy and I have been dating for a little over a month now, and it continues to go well. After this weekend I feel myself being drawn a little closer to him. Maybe it's because he has met my friends and feels more integrated into my life. Maybe it's just that time. Who knows. I have started to miss him a little when we're apart, and we're talking on the phone and IM'ing to one another daily. We're certainly not using that "b" word yet, but if things continue to go well that may be introduced into our introductions in the not too distant future. He's a very sweet and funny guy and I'm very luck to have found him. Sometimes I still can't believe he likes me back; I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop ... like he's got this hidden gay flake hormone that just hasn't kicked in yet. But from what I can tell he's got a good head on his shoulders and is sincere when he says nice things to me. Maybe that's why I'm starting to grow attached to him a little.

*****************************************************

Now, three random things:

1) What is the deal with the foaming soap phenomenon recently? Every bathroom I go into has foaming soap instead of liquid soap with which to wash your hands. I'm sure some people like it, but I think it's harder to wash your hands with that stuff. As soon as you turn on the faucet, the water washes it right off. You can't suds up with it because it's too thin and airy. I'm sure that it's some sort of conservation method; it probably takes seven squirts of foam soap to equal one squirt of liquid soap at least. Well, bottom line is that my hands don't feel as clean as they did when I was using liquid soap in bathrooms.

I read an article recently that the vast majority of Americans don't wash their hands properly when they do bother to wash them. The germ-ologist (or whatever) being interviewed said that you should scrub vigorously for the length of time it takes to sing the happy birthday song to yourself twice. I tried that a few times, but singing happy birthday to yourself twice takes a WHILE! My hands felt so dry they were almost raw, plus I got some strange stares from others in the bathroom.

2) This is my new favorite YouTube clip:

My sister said that she laughed so hard she could barely breathe. Make sure you listen at about the 2:50 mark where that woman tells them that they're being filmed and that it's going to be shown all over the world. She was right, too!

3) Have any of y'all seen those Holiday Inn commercials? Not the ones for Holiday Inn Express, but the ones where the three business travelers do different stuff. Two are pretty normal, but the blond-haired guy is kind of a nut. He cracks me up. I saw this one on CNN this morning as I was getting ready, and I'd seen it before a few times. There are more of these on YouTube, but this one is my favorite:

Anyway, happy pride season!

In the Blink of an Eye (and Trip Updates)

2007-06-03T16:42:00.000Z

(The picture above is irrelevant to the post, It just cracked me up.)

You know how I was bitching not too long ago about my perpetual state of singledom? Of course, soon thereafer I met someone and we've been dating for a little over a month. We're still casual and certainly not using that "b" word, but I do enjoy spending time with him, and it seems that he enjoys my company. He's quite fetching, too, and FIVE YEARS YOUNGER! That bothered me at first, but given the fact that I wouldn't think twice about dating someone who is 35, the reverse shouldn't be an issue, either. Of course, now that I've mentioned him a public forum, things will instantly fall apart! lol. Well, I won't give him a blog name, maybe that will keep the jinx away.

My parents have also decided to book a beach house for a week this summer, which has made me and Whit quite happy. We'll be on Edisto Island, S.C., instead of Kiawah Island, but it's the house of a friend of a friend, so we got a good deal on it. I'm going to try to go for a large portion of the week (third week in July). I'm hoping to plan a beach weekend with my friends here in DC, too. I think we may shoot for Labor Day weekend out in Rehomo (Rehoboth Beach, Del.), as Chris's birthday is that weekend. I'd love to make it out there sooner, too, but I'm not sure how easy that will be with my schedule and the like. Two future weekends are already gone in June (DC Pride next weekend and SF Pride in three weeks), then my family's beach week in July. I'll figure something out ....

I've also started thinking about my next international trips. I am absolutely going to Europe this fall, and I think I've decided on Prague and Budapest. Nick studied abroad in Budapest and wants to go back this October, so I would have a traveling companion for at least part of the trip. I'm also thinking about booking a week in Brazil (Rio and other nearby environs) in January, which would be a great way to spend my 31st birthday (a warm, sunny, inexpensive beach trip). Both trips on miles, of course!

As referenced above, I'm going to San Francisco Pride in three weeks. Bernie, Nick, Chris, Chuck, and I will be there for the whole weekend and won't be flying back until Monday. I'm using Marriott Rewards points to pay for the room, which is also awesome. They've all been before; I haven't. Shenaningans and Pandemonium will certainly ensue. Of course I'm going out a few days early for work, so my plane ticket will be paid for by my employer. Gotta take advantage of those perks when they present themselves!

Oil and Water

2007-05-23T09:46:00.000Z

What on earth is Jessica Simpson doing at the Cannes Film Festival? I mean, has she even seen an arthouse flick before? Stupid bitch; go away! And take your no-talent sister with you. Though kudos to your brilliant father. You were basically an unknown pretty girl until that Newlyweds show on MTV (which I'm sure he got you on); now you're hot tabloid fodder (and no doubt richer). I wish I could seize opportunties like Joe Simpson ... well, without the whole exploiting-my-children angle.

I don't have a good segue for this, so I'm just going to go into it. Kudos to the media (OH! I could have said "speaking of kudos," but oh well) for giving what I have seen as very balanced coverage of Jerry Falwell. They didn't gush all over him like I thought they would. They accurately portrayed him as someone who incited a lot of strong emotions and opinions on both sides of the fence. Pretty much all coverage I saw made mention of the ludicrous statements and positions that he had held through the years. But did you see the article that just came out about the 19-year-old kid who had several homemade bombs in his car for the explicit purpose of bombing protestors at Falwell's funeral? You know what they call people like that? TERRORISTS.

One more piece I'd like to point out is an op-ed written by Cynthia Tucker, the editorial page editor of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. It's a very well written piece about the work and influences of Jerry Falwell and how they have reached far beyond mere electoral influences. It correctly ties his movement to the dramatic shift in the modern Republican Party and the cronyism that has beset the Bush Administration. She also makes mention about the crazies who are running for the Republican nomination for President who don't believe in evolution (Brownback, Huckabee, and I think Tancredo are the three).

If I don't blog again (and with my recent track record, I probably won't), have a great long weekend!

What to Say About Jerry Falwell ...

2007-05-15T15:26:00.000Z

It's hard when someone you hate dies. You're glad that they're not around to harm you anymore, but you feel sympathy for those who loved him who must be in pain right now.

I never wished him death or pain. I do not take pleasure in his death. I just wished he would come to his senses and start acting like the Christian that he purported to be instead of a hateful politician cloaked in benevolent religion. Let's make one thing clear: Jerry Falwell was a politician who dabbled in religion, not the other way around. Sure, he started out as a servant of God who started a small church in Lynchburg, Va., but like so many people who thirst for power, it corrupted him.

He supported apartheid in South Africa. He called Desmond Tutu a phony. He said the antichrist was a Jewish male who walks the earth today. He blamed 9/11 on gays, feminists, and liberals. He said that God doesn't hear the prayers of Jews or anyone who is not a "born-again Christian." He said AIDS was God's wrath against homosexuals, who he called "moral perverts." He helped to spread unsubstantiated lies about Bill Clinton. He took money from the Moonies when his university was going under; years earlier he called the Reverend Moon "a plague." He thought a PBS children's character was gay.

Let's keep these memories in mind over the course of the next several days, as no doubt the media will lavish seemingly unending praise on the man.

Jerry, even though you were a racist and a bigot, I forgive you. Let's hope your God does for your sake.

ADDENUM: This blogger did an even better job that I did at gathering quotes and such on Falwell. Enjoy!

Single Sexy & Free

2007-05-15T10:04:00.000Z

No doubt you've picked up that I have historically been unlucky in love. Yeah it's a little frustrating, but honestly I don't think about it all that much. The older I get, the more I realize that I could have easily had a longer track record if I had lower standards. I don't like to invest much time into any dating scenario if I think that there's no chance for success. I don't think I
look for excuses not to date someone in particular, but if our personalities don't match up, we don't have anything at all in common, or there's no physical chemistry, then I think "why bother? it's just going to end in one or two months if even that long."

(I just realized that there are a ton of police in dress uniforms, police cars, flags, and even a bagpipe troupe outside of my office window! Must be a parade about to start, you think? The bagpipers are playing Amazing Grace backed by a black marching band-esque beat. Weird, yet cool in a way.)

I think this high standard for a relationship comes in part from my upbringing. My parents have always been a perfect match for one another. There were never any unhappy times in my family growing up that were a result of my parents' relationship (well, that would insinuate that there were unhappy times for other reasons, which there weren't). They will celebrate their 36th wedding anniversary in July, and they've never been happier together. That is what a relationship should be, and that is what I want. Nothing less. That is true security and true companionship; having a relationship like that makes sharing your life with someone totally worth it.

So I date here and there, but nothing too serious. The chemistry just hasn't been right with a lot of people, and then on occasion when I do like someone, they don't like me back the same way. That's a dichotomous problem for me: even though I approach relationshps with trepidation, I will still develop an emotional bond with someone that I like far before it's time for it to be there. For instance, if I have two great dates with someone, I start thinking about what my friends will think about him, what my family will think about him, what it would be like to invite him to the appropriate work functions. I probably freak myself out by doing that, oddly enough! But that's how it goes. I've been concentrating a lot of my friendships since I've been in DC, but I'm very ready to date when the right person comes along.

At least I think that I am. What if I'm not good at it? I've been very independent since the day I graduated college and have lived alone for all but two of those years. I travel all the time by myself, I run errands alone, I frequently dine alone, etc. Not that I'm anti-social (far from it), but I've just grown accustomed to enjoying my own company. Urbanites do that more than others, I think. So I have to say that I do have a little anxiety about giving up a lot of my alone time. Will he grow tired of me? Will I annoy him? Sometimes my personality can be taxing, as I can be quite the goofball and chatterbox. I don't want to have to always tone it down for someone because I want to be me.

I guess that's another place from which the anxiety comes. How would I change in a relationship? Would I change in such a way that my family and existing friends would not want to be around me? I don't want to LOSE anything, per se; I just want to ADD to my life. I don't have a finite amount of love to give, so I don't think that I should have to give up or lose what I have now to get what I want next. I guess that's why they call it taking a chance or sticking your neck out.

So I guess to summarize, I think that I am ready for the right kind of relationship with the right guy, but it's definitely going to be a "learn as I go" process that won't always be as smooth as it could be. His patience for me will be a tremendous, endearing virtue ....

Musings After Dinner

2007-05-07T20:39:00.000Z

I can't believe I'm going to discuss this, but I have to say something about the Paris Hilton arrest thing. The bitch deserves it, as most everyone agrees. I mean, she was arrested for DUI, then drove twice while her license was suspended, didn't go to her alcohol education class by the time she was ordered to do so, and now she and her snooty parents are whining about her sentence? I mean, had I done all that, I would expect to be in the slammer, too! The Hiltons have the money to hire her a driver while she has her license suspended, so why didn't they? And now they have the audacity to approach the Governator to ask him to intervene, come on! And the statement that they put out makes me not want to stay in any Hilton hotel chain (yes, Doubletree, Embassy Suites, Hampton, the whole bit) again. They essentially said that Paris should be kept out of jail because she inspires young people everywhere, especially those with mundane lives. I mean, COME ON!!! I hope she is made someone's bitch.

Browsing iTunes yesterday before I left for L.A., I noticed that in the 100 most popular songs, many Bon Jovi songs were in the list. Huh? They weren't new songs ... these were classics from Slippery When Wet and other period albums. Then it dawned on me: wasn't Jon Bon Jovi the guest judge and coach this week on American Idol? Yep, that must be it. I don't know why, but it just pissed me off. I mean, just because he was on Idol, now people are "discovering" his songs? Ugh, I know that I should be happy that they are getting the attention they deserve, but for some reason anything that has been touched by the national karaoke competition is just tainted. Anyway, good for JBJ. I just need to get over my hate for Idol; it's certainly transformed the music industry.

I think I'm going to try out for the Gay Men's Chorus of Washington when their next auditions come around in August. I haven't sung in a group since I graduated college, so I think I'd like to give it a shot. I never went out for the Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus, though mainly because I just wasn't interested. I got the impression that these groups are just full of middle-aged showtunes-loving men, and that just doesn't appeal to me. I have actually met a couple of people in DC who I consider normal who sing with the group, plus I continue to mature .... It turns out that they practice on Sunday nights, so my work schedule shouldn't conflict with it.

I also think that I'm going to take a Spanish class this summer. It's been something that I have been thinking about doing for a while now. I already have a decent grasp of the language, but I need to buckle down and work on it some more so that I can truly become bilingual. I need to learn more vocabulary and learn how to think in Spanish, which I can't do right now.

The prior two bullet points feed into a larger point that I think I need to start making some changes in my life. Not like my life is bad or anything: far from it. I just feel a little adrift and, well, bored. I'm getting pretty tired of doing the same things every weekend, and my closer friends in DC, god love 'em, don't seem inclined to vary much from this routine. For the past 2.35(ish) years in DC I've been largely content to just go with the flow, focusing more on the company of my friends rather than the activities that we do. By and large I'm still of that mindset, but I need some variety. Stay tuned to see what I cook up ....

Hmm, I'm Not Sure Where to Start

2007-04-27T01:50:00.000Z

Please tell me that some of y'all have seen the pics where Bush celebrates Malaria Awareness Day (or something). Some West African dance troupe came to the Rose Garden to help with the celebration. Bush certainly got into the spirit. RIIII-diculous!

As you all have noticed, I've not been posting very much. I don't know, I just have needed to take a break from blogs. Except for political blogs, I haven't been checking personal blogs recently. It doesn't mean that I don't love you all, but sometimes you just need a break. But life has been fine. I've been traveling some for work (Miami/Ft Lauderdale, Boise, Salt Lake City) and have tried to be diligent about the gym and running. I'm also busy shopping for all new furniture for my place, since I decided that I am sick and tired of secondhand stuff and/or stuff that I've had in my bedroom since I was in second grade.

Plus, when I think of interesting things to blog about, I'm in my rental car, out on the street, on a plane, or out with friends. Then when I sit here my mind goes blank.

So enjoy your warming weather, wherever you are, and maybe my mind will return from vacation soon ....

Buy These For Me

2007-04-18T19:17:00.000Z

I had a fit when Whit and I ran across these shorts at
J. E. Neilson's department store in downtown Oxford, Miss., the other weekend. Of course they did not have my size otherwise they would have been MINE on the spot. I still may order them from Vineyard Vines.

And if anyone is feeling generous, go straight to Southern Proper's website and buy me something pretty. Even though I think I tie the shittiest bowtie in America after ten years, I still love them. And a handsome man in ultra-preppy dress still makes me weak in the knees. Put Tom Brady in something like this and I don't even think smelling salts could revive me from fainting at a glance at that.

Walking (and Driving, Eating, Touring, Drinking) in Memphis

2007-04-17T13:00:00.000Z

(Hey y'all, I know I've been slack, but I've been busy with work and not really feeling much like blogging. I've been working on this post for a while and finally finished it. I'll be back at it again soon!)

My trip to Memphis was a productive one for work and a fun one personally. Beyond just Memphis I got a good glimpse of Mississippi, too, as I drove down to Jackson for work and to Oxford, Clarksdale, and Tunica over the weekend.

Now, my only experience with Memphis was my occasional trip there while employed by SCO, my first employer. AutoZone was our customer, and they are headquartered in downtown Memphis. This was back in 2000, and I was thoroughly unimpressed with Memphis. The city looked as if it was frozen in time sometime in the 1960s or 1970s. Sleepy, abandoned downtown streets and storefronts, old signeage on buildings, deeply segregated neighborhoods, and, well, lots and lots of poverty. Granted, the drive from the airport to downtown isn't through Memphis most savory areas, so admittedly my exposure was limited. My sister and friends have been in recent years, though, and had much more positive things to say. It's a medium sized city in the South, how bad could it be, after all?

Things have changed a lot in the past seven years. The downtown looks pretty lively and times-current. Many of the countless old brick buildings downtown have been flipped into lofts of loft-like offices spaces. The FedEx Forum (arena) and AutoZone Park (baseball) have both opened downtown in close proximity to one another, and are both very attractive venues. Touristy, but charming Beale Street looks pretty well polished and is the beneficiary of the Peabody Place shopping/entertaiment complex and other bars that have sprung up. The South Bluff area just south of downtown along the Mississippi River is full of nice homes, apartments, and lofts. Not only all this, but I also got to see the rest of Memphis from Midtown/Cooper-Union all the way to the Eastside. It reminded me a lot of a small Atlanta ... charming and cosmopolitan in a Southern way.

I also made my way three hours down I-55 to Jackson, Mississippi, for an overnight trip for work prior to my sister arriving. Jackson is a small city, but I found it quite charming. I didn't get to see as much as I would have liked, but one thing that I was struck with here (and Memphis, for that matter) was how friendly people were. As you all know, I grew up down South, but I found people here especially friendly. Maybe I've been in DC long enough that running across friendly strangers makes an impression once again, who knows.

Growing up in the more dense eastern South, you don't drive through tons of truly remote areas. Yeah, it gets country/rural and all, but you're never that far from a gas station or the like. However, the western South is more sparesly populated, and you can go through miles and miles of just trees! For instance, it's rare in the Carolinas, (most of) Georgia, and northern Florida to see a freeway interchange that doesn't have a gas station or truck stop of some size. In Mississippi and large parts of Alabama, however, you have to plan your gas purchases a little better like you do in the West. And bathroom breaks. I actually had to pull off of the interstate to pee on some dirt side road because I never did see suitable facilities, be it a rest area or gas station.

Anyway, Whit and I toured Ole Miss and Oxford on Friday and were pleasantly surprised. While it's a small town, we sensed enough of a liberal undercurrent that would make two years there not unbearably oppressive. We also toured Rowan Oak, which was William Faulkner's home (beautiful grounds). The only drawback to the program was that they didn't have very many classes in the specific subject area in which she wants to focus within her program. So she'll be a UNC Tarheel this fall.

We drove over to Clarksdale, which is in the Mississippi Delta area. It's amazing how the land flattens out as you get closer to the river. Clarksdale is the hometown of Morgan Freeman, and he owns both a blues club and a restaurant in town. The town is very charming in shabby way, though our favorite thing is this florist called "Ooo So Pretty" (pictured). It was just a funny name.

From Clarksdale we drove up MS 1 and US 61 through the Delta to Tunica, which is a small town just south of Memphis. Tunica is more famous nowadays for all of the riverside casinos that have been built in the area. There are probably eight or nine of them, all in the Vegas style, too. Of course we had to stop and play a few slots/poker machines.

Saturday we went to Graceland, which was H-O-T!!!!!! Check out my flickr pictures for all of them, but needless to say I loved it. Just over the top amazing. I want someone to make me this jumpsuit for Halloween this year, it is without a doubt my favorite outfit on display. Roar!

From Graceland we went to Stax Studios, which is the recording studio where Isaac Hayes, the Staples Singers, Otis Redding, Sam Cooke, and many, many other well-known soul artists recorded in the 1960s and 1970s. There were so many artists there that I didn't know that well but whose songs I could already sing by heart (like "Mr. Big Stuff"). We couldn't take pictures in Stax, but anyone who is a fan of soul, blues, disco, R&B, and hip-hop would love this place, as so much historic and imporant music was created. The most amazing thing about Stax is that it was started by a white brother and sister and was truly an integrated business from the beginning, way before its time in the South.

And we ate some amazing food, too. Barbecue, Creole, Southern, and of course Mexican. So this trip was certainly a thumbs-up. Not only did I get to spend a lot of time with my sister, but I also got to rediscover Memphis and explore a lot more of an area with whom I wasn't terribly familiar. There are a lot less of those in the U.S. for me than there were 15 years ago when I made my first trip west of the Mississippi River, so each new one is that much more special for me.

52:24

2007-04-02T10:24:00.000Z

That was my time in this year's Cooper River Bridge Run (a 10K) in Charleston on Saturday. While I had originally wanted to beat 50 minutes, I've not been very impressed with my running performance since I got back from Australia/New Zealand, so my revised goal was just to beat my 2006 time of 54:48. I did, by two minutes and 24 seconds, so I was pleased. Though I did push myself harder and was sweattier and more tired at the end of this race. Afterwards me, Rich, Curry, Cathy, and one of Cathy's friends (whose name I forget!) went to Shucks in the Market for an early lunch (including our annual post-race beer) of shrimp 'n grits with hush puppies. It was HOT! I hadn't been to Shucks since high school (since I kind of regarded it as a tourist trap - come on, EVERYONE seemed to have a Shucks t-shirt a few years back), but the food definitely delivered. My other lowcountry seafood experience that weekend was Sunday's midday meal at the Shem Creek Bar & Grill in Mount Pleasant, where I had a platter of fried shrimp, scallops and oysters plus red rice and cheese grits. YUM!

Overall it was a great weekend. We stayed with Rich's friends Chris and Laura at the amazing home in the Hamlin Plantation area of Mount Pleasant, which was really cute. I saw my friend Matt who I only seem to see during race weekend, and we had a great time drinking at the Blind Tiger and hanging out at his carriage house downtown. We swore we'd hang out more than once a year from here on out. I saw my sister for a few minutes, too, and they stayed in a great beach house on the Isle of Palms. And lord the men! Great googley mooogley! I saw about 200 who would certainly qualify as husband material. Races are great for men watching.

The drive down and back can be anywhere from eight to nine hours depending on wrecks and how many times you stop and for how long. It didn't bother me that much, since I rarely go on road trips anymore for that length. Yeah, I was good and ready to be home once I hit that last stretch of 95 between Richmond and DC, but otherwise it was fine. It's odd that while I elect to fly most everywhere I go, I always manage to drive to Charleston for this particular weekend. Part of the reason is that airfares to Charleston aren't cheap to begin with, and they sell out quickly (as you would imagine) for this weekend. Part of the reason, though, is that there's something peaceful and comforting to me about having a good old-fashioned road trip through the South. It kind of reconnects me to my roots and takes me back to a time when my family did stick with the car for the most part, in particular when heading back and forth to the coast.

This week is my Memphis and Jackson (Miss.) work trip and pleasure weekend with my sis. It should be a nice time, especially since it's supposed to cool off considerably here in DC towards the end of this week. Now that I've donned shorts and t-shirts, I don't want to go back!

Enjoy the Silence

2007-03-27T10:00:00.000Z

Hey, y'all. Sorry to not have posted much recently, I really haven't had that much to say. Life has been pretty normal since I last checked-in. I had two attend two work functions over the weekend, which went okay (though I would have rather been at home, not in a suit). I also went to a birthday party on Friday night and then out with friends on Saturday. Sunday was laundry day and spending some time outdoors in the lovely temps.

I've not been sleeping well recently, which has caused my workouts to be a little subpar, but I'm sure it's just a phase. I just have to do better about getting in the bed by 11. It's been closer to 12 or slightly after recently.

This weekend Rich, his boyfriend Curry, and I will all be staying with Rich's friend Chris in Charleston for the Cooper River Brige Run. Whit is going, too, but she's staying with some other people. I wish the trip was longer, because I haven't had a nice Charleston trip in quite some time (not counting the Bridge Run last year where I stayed an extra day). As far as the race goes, I was originally hoping to finish in 50 minutes, but because my running has not been great recently I just want to beat last year's time (which was 54 minutes and change). If they line the runners and walkers up in the correct order, that may be a possibility. Last year the walkers didn't line up where they were supposed to and subsequently caused a logjam that really didn't shake off the whole race ... I was passing walkers to the bitter end.

My parents are leaving today on a two week vacation to Germany, France, and Austria. I'm very excited for them, as this is their only second trip to Europe (their first was Thanksgiving 2004 when they visited the UK while Whit was abroad in Edinburgh). My dad has been wanting to visit Austria, and the catalyst for this trip was actually the Munich fare sale that I took advantage of back around my 30th birthday weekend. They were able to catch the very final days of allowed travel and wound up getting rountrip tickets on Lufthansa from Charlotte to Munich for $398. That's a great deal, especially for nonstop flights from a smaller market like Charlotte. They're spending most of their time in Germany and Austria, but they will go into the edge of France with one of our family friends who lives on the border of Germany and France in the town of Saarbrucken.

Of course, I'm already thinking about my next international vacation, too. It will probably be around Labor Day or later in September. I've suddenly been reading a lot about Estonia, so it's piqued my interest as a Baltic state with very strong Scandinavian leanings. Croatia is also appealing and has been getting rave reviews in trade rags as a good deal and beautiful country. Something about a slightly-under-the-radar-but-not-third-world country appeals to me. Yes, I do need to go to London and Paris, but I'm sure I'll get to it sometime in the near future. And I need to get to Budapest and Prague before they ditch their respective currencies and adopt the Euro in 2009. Anyway, I think Rich wants to go somewhere, too, so we said that we'd talk about it this weekend. I think he'd rather go somewhere a little more mainstream than me, but like I said, there are tons of places that are new to me so that shouldn't be a problem.

I have to get to work on my self-evaluation for this past fiscal year so I can get it to Glenda in advance of our meeting tomorrow. I'm copying and pasting a lot of last year's, since a lot hasn't changed. Tedious, tedious!

Congrats are in Order ...

2007-03-21T12:21:00.000Z

Y'all congratulate my sister ... she got into all three grad school programs she applied to! That would be Indiana, Ole Miss, and UNC. IU is not offering her much money, so it's down to Ole Miss, which has the ideal program but would mean her moving about 12 hours away, and UNC, which would mean she wouldn't have to move, but the program isn't as pefect as Ole Miss. She and I are going to Ole Miss and Memphis over Easter weekend to check it out once more (she's been before in college, I haven't been) before she makes a decision, although she's leaning towards Ole Miss at this point. She'll probably go there unless she hates the town and/or school. Now, keep in mind that if it's backwaters South (compared to some places, that is) that doesn't mean she won't go. There's a tremendous amount of charm and rich cultural opportunities in what is probably the home of the Blues and much Southern folklore. Oxford, Miss., the town in which Ole Miss is located, was home to William Faulkner and is home to John Grisham and a plethora of other less-famous Southern literary figures. It's not your average Southern small town. Whit would probably enjoy that for a couple of years, as it is certainly related to her graduate studies. I'm excited to see the University, to spend a weekend with my sis, and to have work pay for my plane ticket down there, as I'm going to set up some work meetings in Memphis to justify having work pay for the plane ticket. I haven't been to Memphis yet for work, and I can certainly justify at least one trip.

Spent the last two days in South Florida (Naples, Miami & Key Largo). South Beach is beautiful but is full of some trashy people. Seriously, I've been there several times but really got to see another side this trip, since I stayed right in the thick of Collins Avenue on Monday night. I never noticed the copious amounts of souvenir shops filled with tacky sexual innuendo and getting drunk t-shirts until this trip. Everyone has a cocky attitude ... worse than anywhere I have been in the U.S. (yes, worse than L.A.). Plus I feel like I'm in a rap video sometimes (or back in high school), as I have to slowly trudge behind an entourage of 20 people spread across a small sidewalk. Um, if y'all are going to walk slow, single-file it so I can get to my dinner date, holmes! Of course, it is Spring Break season, and lots of college-aged kids were in town and could have skewed the normal tourist composition.

I felt much more at ease and at home yesterday when I had to go down to Key Largo for a meeting at someone's home there. That area is much more what I think "Old Florida" would be like: much more shabby and sparsely populated than Miami proper. I went to an awesome place for lunch called Mrs. Mac's Kitchen right on the Overseas Highway. Open-air, knotty-pine walls, laid back, full of locals and tourists alike ... I stuck out in my black suit for sure. The drive back through subtropical coastal forests and shrubs was so peacfeul and beautiful, it made me want to just pull off down a sandy dirty road and just drive until i hit water, change into my shorts, t-shirt, and flip-flops, and just sit there for the rest of the day. Hopefully I can plan a beach trip -- to a quiet-ish beach -- sometimes soon.

There Goes My Bracket!

2007-03-16T14:35:00.000Z

Well shit, Duke just lost to Virginia Commonwealth 79-77. I had Duke going to the Final Four, so I might as well kiss winning our friendly bracket competition goodbye. Duke always performs well in the tourney, so even though they were a little subpar this year and were seeded six, I still thought they'd step up.

Neither Clemson nor Wake made it this year, so I'm probably just going to cheer for Georgetown now. FYI, I have Memphis winning the whole thing, beating Florida in the title game. Let's see how the rest of this bracket shakes out.

Who Are You People?

2007-03-15T17:14:00.000Z

Admittedly, I WAS on vacation for a week and a half, but I've come back to an office filled with people I don't recognize. Before this job I never worked in an office bigger than ten people, so we all knew each other. There wasn't that much turnover, either. Here, my office has about 25 people, and we have a lot more turnover. Not only that, but we constantly have visitors and such from other offices in the corporation. Consequently, I've just given up on getting to know anyone that I don't already know. Sure, I'll be nice to you (I'm not the jackass that I sound like on here), but beyond "hey" and "how are you" and "the bathroom's this way," don't expect much from me, transients. Since I've moved to DC for this job, my work persona has been less "chatty cathy" and more "head-to-the-grindstone-and-mind-my-own-business." A lot of it just has to do with DC ... people just aren't as nice here. But then we also have big glass doors, so we can close them and still be viewed from the outside. Prior to this job I either worked in a cube or in an office with a solid door. Close it for anything besides a phone call or a meeting and people get suspicious.

I also should know by now that I need to take a xanax, valium, or some other mood stabilizer before I read the letters to the editor in my hometown paper The Greenville News. Now, let me say that Greenville is not some country bumpkin, one-horse town. It's quite a lovely place to live, has the highest per capita number of engineers in the US (including my father); is home to Michelin's North American Headquaters, BMW's North American manufacturing facility and South Carolina's most highly-regarded private university; and has nice neighborhoods, shopping, and restaurants for a mid-sized Southern city. However, of South Carolina's three largest cities, Greenville is home to by far the most conservative people in the state. It's evident in the letters to the editor. For instance, Bob Inglis, the Republican (shocker!) Congressman representing Greenville, actually voted for the House's resolution condeming the escalation of the Iraq War. Well, you would have thought that he was taking it up the ass from Osama Bin Laden himself the way that the people responded in the editorial pages of the paper. And what kills me is that they were using talking points straight out of the Bush Administration's and Republican pundits' playbook, saying things like "emboldening the enemy," "not wanting to succceed in Iraq," and "dishonoring the troops." "Bob Inglis has received my last vote." Seriously? Y'all come up with your own material, please! These people love nothing more than to write in about any and all conservative pet causes like abortion, gay rights, immigration, school prayer, the displays of the ten commandments (and I bet you $1000 that less than 5% can name all ten), and birth control. In fact, I don't think the plight of the poor, health care, or the environment is ever a topic of conversation, which is pretty consistent among conservative people all over the country. Politicians don't have a hard time telling these people what to give a shit about. I've nosed through the letters to the editor in other state papers, but they don't have the same vitriol and anger that the ones do in Greenville.

Speaking of God's Warriors, I watched something on YouTube this week that really made me gawk in awe. On that TV show Trading Spouses (is that the one on ABC?), they apparently had, at some point, two women trade places who were from very different religious backgrounds. One was a woman from Massachusetts who was a new ageist and believe in astrology, tarot cards, and the like. Another one was from Louisiana and was a wild-eyed fundamentalist Christian. I'll let you guess which one of these is the woman pictured above. Well, when the Louisiana wife came home, she went butt-fucking crazy in front of her family, spewing all this talk about casting out the devil and such foolishness. Just go to YouTube and search for "crazy woman trading spaces" and that should pull it up. Amazing that these people are walking the streets among us and are (presumably) holding down jobs. My guess is that she's probably a fan of President Bush and has a cooch in desperate need of some FDS.

Would Someone Please Get This Guy a New Shirt?

2007-03-15T14:47:00.000Z

Seriously, y'all, this terrorist guy is fugly. In the three-plus years he's been at Guantanamo Bay, the feds couldn't at least hose him down with some Ajax, comb his hair, and exchanged his boatnecked blouse for something a little more terrorist-appropriate?

I'm always reminded of a segment on SNL's Weekend Update where Horatio Sanz played him and actually said something to the effect of "couldn't you guys have found a better picture of me?"

I'm Back; My Bag Isn't

2007-03-12T02:45:00.000Z

Hey there everyone. I've been back now for around 10 hours. I have to say it was a marvelous trip all the way around ... Sydney was just like I expected, which was awesome. Auckland was an interesting place to visit, as well, as it's quite the city in transition right now. My flight down there was long but tolerable, and my flight back was actually fairly pleasant and as enjoyable as it could have been. I flew United down and Air New Zealand back. Wasn't even a contest, ANZ kicked ass. Their on-demand in flight entertaiment had a lot to do with that ... 85 movies and probably as many TV shows, too, to choose from. Stopping and starting whenever you like? Pure hotness.

Well, except for the luggage thing. I had one checked bag that made it from Auckland to L.A. just fine. I claimed it in L.A., went through customs, and rechecked it with United. And that's the last time I have seen it. It didn't make my flight despite me checking it with the agent a solid hour before. When I filled out the claim last night, the baggage agent apparently typed in my cell phone wrong, so when they tried to deliver it today, they couldn't call me. I had ran out briefly for lunch, so I could have easily swung back by my place and met the driver, but I couldn't be reached. Now the bag is back at Dulles and three calls to United later (plus 30 minute wait time preceeding each call) and the bag is still not here at 10:50pm. I think baggage is handled by the dreaded Indian Call Center, as everyone I have talked to has thick Indian accents ... that call center is horrible at customer service, so I think I'm doomed to have to drive back out to Dulles tomorrow night and pick the damn thing up myself. Watch them try to deliver it to my place while I'm at work tomorrow, too.

My pictures are all uploaded to my Flickr account (if you care to peruse them), though I haven't begun to label them ... there are 500 of them, after all. I did the best I could with the Mardi Gras parade ... it was tough to snap shots in the dark fighting my way among thousands of people, but I think I did a fair job.

Despite the hordes upon hordes of hot men that I laid my eyes upon during this trip, I didn't once get lucky. Not even a smooch on the lips. It was pretty much due to lack of effort; I just wasn't feeling too lascivious on this trip for some reason, so I didn't even attempt to start up something with someone. I just enjoyed hanging with my crew and window shopping. It's not often that I don't pursue the company of men whilst on vacation, but yes, it does happen from time to time.

One more thing, what the fuck is manchester???

"Let's Slow Things Down for All Those Couples Out There ... "

2007-02-27T23:27:00.000Z

I think I should create a Prom playlist on my iPod, as I'll be walking around and suddenly I'll hear a song from my prom ... "Bump & Grind" by R. Kelly and "Red Light Special" by TLC are two that popped up out of nowhere recently. Anytime I hear R. Kelly sing "my mind's telling me no, but my body, my body's telling me yes ..." I get a little shiver. I also remember "Baby I'm Yours" by Shai and "I Swear" by All-4-One distinctly.

I went to three proms in high school. Juniors and seniors were allowed to attend, but my first prom was my sophomore year when I was invited by a senior friend of mine. It was hot, me and a bunch of seniors. We rented a limo, too, which I found out later was a limo from a black funeral home!!! Ten white kids rolling around in the back of a funeral home family car, what a riot. I went to high school in the early-to-mid 90s, so we still had a very healthy dose of big teased hair and satin dresses at all three proms, too. Fortunately I did not follow the trend of getting a colored or designed cumberbund and tie; I opted for basic black. I looked really boring at the time, but fortunately since I didn't have trendy hair or a stupid tux, I look pretty timeless (albeit awkward and skinny) in all my prom pics.

Each year I, as well as many other guys at Berea High School, got their dates' corsages from Basket of Flowers, one of the many florists in our community (we had a disproportionate number of florists and tap/clog schools). Basket of Flowers was run by the most effeminate man that I have ever met, even to this day ... Maxie. Funny thing was, Maxie was married with THREE kids ... one of his sons was my sister's age! Once, at dinner, someone complimented my date on her corsage, and I quickly pointed out that "that's a Maxie on her wrist!" Hey, it was funny at the time.

My favorite prom theme song was my junior prom ... it was Whitney's "One Moment in Time." Sophmore prom was "You Look Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton, and our senior prom was "I'll Be There" by The Escape Club (which I fought tooth-and-nail but wound up losing).

All three proms were special in their own ways. My sophomore prom was at the Poinsett Club, which is probably the most exculsive social club in Greenville (actually, "one of the finest private clubs in America," according to their website). It was also my first prom and one that I attended with a bunch of seniors. My junior prom was my only prom with a girlfriend, my one-and-only high school girlfriend Ashley. It was at the new conference wing of the city's convention center, the Palmetto Expo Center. Senior prom was, well, my senior prom, held at the Greenville Country Club, and planned in large party by yours truly, as I was Vice President of the class council. Who fought the white trash girls to keep silver lamé out of the color scheme? Me, I wanted cream & black with lots of greenery. I redeemed myself by allowing fried mozzerella sticks on the menu, which I myself wanted! Classy, huh?

Ahh, memories. I still have a huge soft spot for 90s pop, R&B, and slow jams. Fortunately, for my sake, I don't have a digital picture of me at prom, otherwise I would feel obligated to post it.

This will be my last post before I take off for Sydney tomorrow, so y'all keep it real here, and I'll see ya' on the flip side! Ahh, warm weather, lying on the beach, the Mardi Gras Parade, and lots of hot accented men, here I come ....

There's Good News, and Then There's Bad News

2007-02-23T16:23:00.000Z

Good News:

How hot is this? A 70-year-old tourist killed a 20-year-old mugger with his bare hands, putting him into a chokehold and breaking his clavicle. Dayum! Even better, the Costa Rican police aren't gonna bother pressing charges, saying that he was right to defend himself. Somehow I don't see the same reaction coming from police in this country. I see everyone getting arrested and held down at the jail until the police thoroughly investigated this, and we all know police take their damn time to do anything in this country. Well, that 20-year-old boy and his two friends shouldn't have been trying to rob a bus of senior citizens in port on a cruise.

The funny thing is, the muggers had knives and a gun. Once their friend was killed, the other two took off. Did either one of them have the gun? If so, then shit, that old man must have scared them good with his conan the barbarian stunt. Maybe they thought he was a former Superman and it would have been futile to waste bullets trying to shoot him.

Bad News:

Why, Tom? Why??? So "allegedly" Tom Brady's ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan (Natasha from Sex and the City) is three months pregnant with his baby. Reading this whole article just pisses me off. The media is just dead set on the fact that Tom Brady is a straight man who dates beautiful women. They just can't get it through their heads that a man that stunningly beautiful cannot be straight. He can't be. (Well, he IS wearing what looks like a Pink Floyd Division Bell Tour t-shirt in the pic that's attached to this story, so maybe there's a every-so-tiny chance that he's one of THEM.)

So Tom is "allegedly" too stupid to not be double-bagging that shit as he is fully aware that their relationship is headed down the tubes? I mean, she's three months pregnant and they split up in December? Come on, Tom, I know you're smarter than that. And now "allegedly" he's dating Gisele Bundchen. They're spotted going into her SoHo apartment, she's been hanging around the Patriot's locker room ...... whoops, sorry about that, i fainted for a second trying to visualize it ... and now "allegedly" he's bought her diamond earrings.

I have to hand it to Tom, he's doing a masterful job duping the media. Tom, if you're reading this, I know you're in pain. It's hard to live a double-life. I know you reach for that phone all the time but just can't dial my numbers. Admitting it to yourself is the biggest step, but I know it's a seemingly insurmountable one from the other side of the mountain. You shoudln't go on living like this, but I'll be patient. I know you're worth the wait.

P.S. And when you sell that $16.5 million condo in New York that's currently on the market, I have a whole laundry list of ideas for a replacement home for it.

Do You Remember The Time ...

2007-02-23T00:45:00.000Z

Amazing how you can be doing something normal and mundane (shopping, driving, eating, etc.) and suddenly have a flashback to something in your past. Nothing bad, per se, but either a song, a smell, a sight or something else can be all it takes to make you think of a prior time in your life.

I've always maintained that my life has only gotten better; I still maintain that. The knowledge that I have gained and experiences that I have had only serve to enrich my forthcoming days. However, that doesn't mean that I don't sometimes miss certain times in my life from time to time.

I miss the times when I was working in my first job post-college. Everything was new and exciting, I was truly independent, business travel took me around the country to many new cities on someone else's dime, Atlanta was at my doorstep, and I was learning how to socialize in the gay community. I remember the songs on the radio ("Run" by Collective Soul, "Battleflag" by the Lo-Fidelity Allstars, "Bye Bye Bye" by 'N*Sync, "Praise You" by Fatboy Slim, "Waiting for Tonight" by J.Lo., and "When the Heartache is Over" by Tina Turner), and hearing those nowadays on my iPod, on the radio, or in restaurants/stores are instant triggers. The good memories always outshine the bad, though. Those first two years were not always easy, though. I struggled to find gay male friends in Atlanta (despite making wonderful female friends), I was kind of adrift career-wise despite having a good job, and I had to deal with the stress of coming out to a lot of people ... including my parents. Like I said, though, that's not what I remember first when I think back to those times.

I also bought my first car with my own money when I was 22 ... it was a 1993 Volvo 850GLT (mine was maroon with tan interior and no spoiler), and it was a manual transmission, too, which was the first and only Volvo I have ever encountered that had one. It was a great car and stayed with me for 4.5 years. Lord, it experienced a lot. Road trips all over the South (including three or four long trips to Central and South Florida), my first job, my first layoff, my nine months of unemployment, my one and only DUI, househunting for my first home purchase, and countless trips to Taco Bell and other Tex-Mex establishments. It was the first major item for which I had complete responsibility, including insuring and repairing it. It was scary, sure, but it helped me prepare for homeownership and, ulitmately, buying Volvo #2 (the one I currently drive) in March, 2004 (which I found and negotiated 100% on my own with no paternal assistance).

I went to my first gay bar and club when I was 22. I am amazed at how timid and scared I was then ... with that excited anxiety all that the same time. The club music of 1999 & 2000 still take me back to those days watching Lena Lust perform Tina Turner's "Pround Mary" at Blake's on Wednesday nights and sitting alongside Keri at the top floor bar at Backstreet watching Charlie Brown's Cabaret (what will Raven come out dressed as this time? Wonder Woman, Catwoman, what??? And will we have to endure Heather Daniels and her pasties again tonight?). And when friends from Clemson would come down to visit and stay at "Keri's Home for Wayward Gay Men" we'd all wind up on the dance floor at Backstreet grabbing for the glow necklaces that came showering down from the ceiling at some point in the evening (I cringe a little on the inside thinking that I ever fought for those things ...). There was this running joke that anytime the Clemson crew brought down a extra guy who was "confused" about his sexuality, he left after that weekend fully gay. Jamie was actually one of those "confused" guys, as he was techinally still dating his last girlfriend when he made his maiden voyage to the the "Home."

Nothing like a trip down Memory Lane; never discount it's importance. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to attempt to go for a run around the tretcherous, hilly streets of San Francisco.

Keyless Entry ... the Silent Killer

2007-02-22T17:15:00.000Z

It amazes me how far you can be from a car and the keyless entry thing will still work, which makes me think, "how strong is the electronic signal that is being emitted from this little device, and how the hell is it hurting us?" Of course it's hurting and/or killing us; everything nowadays does. Seriously, I can be almost 100 feet away and it will still lock/unlock the doors or make the horn honk. My personal vehicle, my 1999 volvo, won't do it from that distance, but all of the new GM rental cars that I find myself in have very powerful keyless entry devices. Oh well, like one of my friends says, just enjoy life and don't worry about it, because if one thing doesn't kill you, something else will.

It's been a good week here in the Bay Area. Not quite as busy as my L.A. week last week, which was nice. I got home from L.A. on Saturday morning and had to turn around and hop on a plane to here on Monday afternoon ... I barely felt like I was at home! The weather has been mild and pleasant for the most part, except for today when I woke up to rain. Oddly enough only one of my meetings is in San Francisco proper ... the others are/have been in Silicon Valley and the East Bay. Right now I sit in Livermore, far from the city. However, I'll be in the city tonight and will be flying back to DC tomorrow early afternoon. Probably the highlight of the trip was the procurement of two new pairs of jeans at the Neiman Marcus Outlet yesterday. I have been on the hunt for at least one new pair recently, and Chris, Bernie, and I went to Arundel Mills last Sunday to scavage through the Saks and Neimans Outlets. Chris was the only successful one that trip. This time, though I picked up a pair of Chip & Peppers and Paper Denims, both of which I love. So whew! Crisis averted.

I'm working on two other posts, too, but they're a little more thought-intensive and flashback-oriented, so I want to do them right. Nothing heavy, as per usual, but just a little more detail-oriented. Stay tuned ....

Thanks For the Gayness, Jesus!

2007-02-14T01:33:00.000Z

(And yes, it's really that clear this week here. I could see the Hollywood sign from the 10 Freeway ... try that in the middle of summer!)

I finally made it to L.A. this morning. Yep, this morning ... not last night. My flight plans were thwarted by a "police incident" on the Baltimore-Washington Parkway yesterday afternoon. Apparently some drivers saw a dead body on the side of the freeway, so police shut the whole thing down yesterday afternoon in both directions. It took me 1.5 hours to drive what normally takes me 15 minutes. After it became painfully obvious that I was not going to make it to BWI in time, I called United and was rebooked on the 6:30am nonstop. I still got my first class upgrade, but I still had to get up at 3:30am today and get fully suited up for the flight. I hate flying to the west coast at the crack of dawn, dressed in a suit, and then having to work all day. The good thing about flying that early is that LAX is pretty painless ... we landed ten minutes early at 9:00am, and I had the keys to my rental car in hand at 9:30am. Considering I checked a bag, that's frankly unheard of.

This past weekend was Chuck's 27th birthday party. He had a mardi gras theme, and Boozie Manor was decked out in beads and masks. Plus David got these white leftover busts of, well, the David that his employer no longer needed. They were covered in masks and beads, too. But the piece d'resistance came halfway through the party. Chuck bought black wigs for me, Bernie, Chris, Nick, and him to wear and lip sync a number or two from Dreamgirls. Oh yes, and apparently there's a video that Brian made of us all. Thankfully, it's too big for him to upload on YouTube. My camera is still at Boozie Manor, so it'll be Saturday before I can examine my pictures. My batteries died at the end of the night, so sabotage by the Boozies is probably unlikely.

I think I'm going to eat some sushi at my beloved Sushi Mac and lie on the bed. I've been up since 12:30am pacific time, after all ....

I Hate You, Internet Explorer

2007-02-12T15:24:00.000Z

Okay, I typed a post out on Thursday or Friday last week and was almost done when my browser had an error and shut down. Of course, I was livid and couldn't bother to retype the whole thing right then.

So this morning I finally decide I'll try again. I got about halfway through and what happened? THE SAME DAMN THING!!! IE had an error and shut down. My god, it's just not in the cards for me.

So hope all is well, maybe I'll get around to retyping the post again. I'm off to L.A. this evening for the rest of the week (my upgrade to first class cleared, hootie hoot!), so it'll be nice for work to pick up the tab of my meals and such for the rest of the week (since I'm running on fumes financially until I get paid again on Friday). I did my taxes on Friday night and will be getting back a hefty return like I did last year, but I doubt it'll be deposited in my account before Friday!

Life is otherwise good. Two work trips (L.A. this week, Bay Area next week), then I go to Australia/New Zealand on 2/28! It's going to be a busy rest of February, but that's how I like it.

Will Dance for Heat ...

2007-02-06T14:27:00.000Z

I thought that this graphic may both illustrate part of this blog post and also serve a possible conduit of heat on this very frigid day. I've actually got a pretty high threshhold for cold for a Southerner, mainly because I'm just warm natured. I dressed very warmly for the walk to work yesterday and was actually sweatting underneath my sweater when I arrived. I had to strip it off and sit in my office in a white t-shirt for a couple of hours until I could bear to put that scratchy wool turtleneck sweater back on. Today I dressed a little lighter and can happily say that I am fully clothed sitting here at my desk. Warmer socks are the only things that I don't have that I could have used during this stretch, but it's not too bad.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend. Mine was actually quite busy (surprise). Friday I had a work happy hour for a colleague who was leaving for a new job, then I just came home and crashed on the ol' futon watching DVDs of Lost. Many of my friends love the show, so I'm trying to give it a fair shot. I'm almost done with season one, and I have to say that it is a pretty good show. I won't be caught up by the time season three resumes this week, but I won't have nearly as far to go.

Saturday I had to get up at the crack of dawn to get my car inspected (it failed, so time to hand over some $$$ to my mechanic), then hop a bus to NYC. Bernie, Chris, and I went up primarily to go to Crobar to hear Tom Stephan spin. We stayed with Nick, who also went to Crobar with us. They have all heard him before and rave about his sound, but I had only listened to his Superchumbo podcasts before of some of his sets. Well, it was awesome to hear him live. Not a lot of vocals this time, but some amazing beats. The club, too, was pretty cool. Extremely well run ... there were people constantly picking up trash and sweeping the floor all night. Security was well-oiled, and the sound system was crystal clear and top notch. We stayed out late (5:00am-ish) and came home exhausted. Sunday we slept in (duh), had brunch, and then hung out a bit before our bus left for DC. Needless to say I was pretty wiped out but very glad that I went. But DAMN, it took me two days to get my hearing back and for the ringing in my ears to stop ... can't be doing that often! Oh, Chris did tell us last week that Tom Stephan is actually going to be in Sydney while we're all there, so maybe we'll catch him again!

Fortunately I don't have a terribly busy week at work. Well, I take that back ... I don't have a whole lot of meetings or appointments scheduled, so I can focus on just office work. I'm heading out to L.A. for most of next week and then to the Bay Area for most of the following week. Then I come back and have two days in the office before we all leave for Australia ... it's coming up quick! Bernie keeps a running countdown of the days as the headline of his Google Talk: "22 Days and Counting" it says today.

Fuck That Horse

2007-01-29T19:50:00.000Z

Okay, so two of the five headlines in my Yahoo! Mail homepage are about Barbaro, the horse. He's also the big story currently on The Washington Post's homepage. Yep, CNN, too.

Yeah, it's sad that he didn't make it. It's sad when many living creatures die (not all, people don't cry over rats, roaches, or mosquitos). It's sadder when they're cute and/or attractive.

What's even worse about this story is it comes on the heels of the death of a great human rights advocate and public servant. Rev. Robert Drinan, S.J. (S.J. is short for Society of Jesus, which means he was a Jesuit priest), died yesterday at the age of 86 from pneumonia and congestive heart faliure. He was the first and only Catholic priest to serve in Congress, representing the district in Massachusetts that is now held by Barney Frank. He stepped down after ten years only when Pope John Paul II ordered that no priest should hold elective office. He also served as Dean of Boston College Law School from 1956 to 1970 and was a tireless advocte for human and civil rights throughout his life.

I have had the honor of meeting and interacting with Father Drinan on occasion during my two years in D.C. He is very well known and has a huge following among human rights advocates and legal ethics scholars. In fact, a Chair in Human Rights Law named for Father Drinan was announced this past fall at Georgetown University.

Yeah, more people know about the horse, so obviously he gets more coverage. But Father Drinan's work and life touched so many more people.

Fatty Fatty Two-by-Four

2007-01-29T18:44:00.000Z

I don't normally mind a trip to the doctor. However, I left today with some surprising news: I'm fat!

Well, not exactly. It turns out that my body mass index is higher than it should be for someone my height and age. I also don't have enough muscle mass for my height/age. But doctor, I run nearly 20 miles a week! I don't have a gut! How can I be fat???

It seems that in my quest to lower my minutes-per-mile mark I am invariably burning my muscle mass. It all has to do with your heart rate. My heart rate is probably in the 170 - 180 range when I'm going full-tilt on the pavement or on the treadmill. That's good for strengthening your heart, but it's not burning much fat. It turns out that my heart rate should be in the 114 - 133 range for ideal fat burning. Plus, I need to re-focus on weight traning. Once I build a little more muscle, the muscle will itself burn the fat, even when I'm at rest.

I'm a complete dunce when it comes to fitness techniques and the like. I don't know what moves are best, which excercises are best, etc. I'll may have to pony up for a trainer at the gym for a little bit so that I can get back on track. I tend to retain fitness knowledge more when I'm shown what to do rather than just reading it on a website or in a magazine.

I also can do better with nutrition. I'm not doing bad, but come on, it's easy to foul up. Who had snack food and birthday cake the past two evenings for dinner, after all? As you would expect, eating healthy is a chore both at home and on the road. I'm usually trying to find something relatively quick on the road, and at home I normally don't have the energy to put much time into preparing a healthy meal. My stylist told me on Saturday that all he's eating until his cruise is white albacore tuna. Blech, even though that'd be very easy to prepare, I couldn't do that, I'd go crazy (not to mention that I'm not too crazy about tuna from the can). I'll just have to, um, READ, and put my thinking cap on. I could also plan my shopping trips to the grocery store better. Right now I just go and pick out what I think I'll need or what I'd like. A little planning of meals probably wouldn't hurt me ...

Hopefully all this will result in a better trip to the doctor next time around, and maybe even a hotter figure for the men of Sydney ....

Wanted: Minutemen for Central Florida

2007-01-26T13:27:00.000Z

Folks, this work trip to Florida has awakened me to a problem that the national media is just ignoring. I was shocked and appalled to see the problem with my own two eyes. We have but just one solution: we must beef up security at our southern border.

Interstate 4, which runs at a slight NE-SW diagonal from Tampa to Daytona Beach through Orlando, is essentially the southern border of the South. Go north of there into northern Florida, and you're most definitely in the South. South of there? With the exception of some non-coastal farmlands, it's retired Yankees all the way. Tampa and Orlando is where the battle is being fought. If you ride around the respective cores these two medium-sized cities, you will find charming neighborhoods filled with typical Southern residential architecture: cute craftsman bunglows, large gracious homes with the required front porch, live oaks draped in Spanish moss, Bermuda grass, azaleas, dogwoods, and magnolias. The suburbs of said cities? Well, most of it is faux-stucco with pastel colors. Like many suburban homes, they're not grotesque individually ... merely collectively.

(Of course, this phenomenon is taking place all across the U.S., and Florida is certaily not unique in its suburban symptoms. Corporate homebuilders have the capital to simply be more nimble and move faster, which is why they can throw up houses quickly and at an affordable price. Same goes with chain restaurants and stores. They can move quickly and throw up outlets as soon as demographics indicate that a certain location can be profitable.)

But I digress. You still feel like you're in the South when you're in Tampa and Orlando ... you hear the occasional Southern accent, you find your requisite Southern restaurants, and, well, just trust me, it's just an intrinsic feeling you have when you feel somewhat "at home." Last night I spent the night about an hour south of Tampa in Sarasota, which is where I write this post. Wow, not an inkling of the South here; it's all retired Yanks. I went to a great seafood restaurant around the corner from my hotel last night, and you would never know that you were just a few miles from that theoretical line in the sand. However, one thing that the gulf coast of Florida has over South(east) Florida is that the people are overall much nicer. It seems that retired Midwesterners tend to be the dominant brand of Yankee on the West coast, and, well, they're friendly people on the whole. The East coast is dominated typically by the chip-on-the-shoulder, accent-that-would-cut-glass, permanently-groused retired Northeastern Yankee. Exceptions to both geographic origin and attitude/friendliness abound in large quantity, I'm sure. I hate when people make generalizations about Southerners, so I would be equally at fault if I blindly did so about other regions without noting the definite existence of exceptions.

Will the Yankees continue to march north? Well, if you have checked out coastal real estate in South Carolina -- Charleston, especially -- it seems as if it's too late. Southerners, we must embrace these intruders as our own and show them the ways of gracious hospitality and warm attitudes. After all, one can come to the United States and become a naturalized citizen (for now), so reason stands that the same can happen in an unofficial, regional capacity.

But, sorry folks, I'm afraid I can't teach you my accent. That'd be like asking Jimi Hendrix to show you to play the guitar just like him ...

----------------------------------------------------------------

And by the way, BOO FLORIDA!!! You are supposed to be warm! Wednesday it was rainy and only made it to 50. Last night was the coldest night in the state this winter ... it got down to 45 or 46 in Sarasota! I didn't bring jeans ... I thew a pair of shorts and flip flops into my bag for space considerations (I'm packed to the hilt in my carry-on due to all the work paraphanalia I have to carry to hand out to people when I travel). So, each night I've had to dress up in my dressier work clothes that I wore on the plane down here on Tuesday to go out to dinner. I know, would I like some cheese with that whine? I know it's still warmer than DC ... of course I'm returning on the night when it's supposed to be in the teens, right?

Travel Blitzkrieg

2007-01-23T20:38:00.000Z

I'm back from Munich! And I'm 30!

Actually it was a great trip. Chris and I had a grand time in Bavaria, and three nights was the perfect little break. The weather was great ... high 40s/low 50s nearly every day, and only a little bit of rain on Friday. Zero tourists basically, too, which made the town and surrounding areas very pleasant for sightseeing and walking around. We walked all over town, did a little window shopping, ate, drank, went out, and just soaked it all up.

On Sunday we took a train down to the town of Fussen and spent the day walking (and hiking, quite honestly) around the edge of the Alps to see Schloss Neuschwanstein, one of the more famous castles in Germany. It was the castle on which the castles at Disney World and Disneyland were based. It sits perched on top of a huge hill (or little mountain) and is quite impressive. You only need to buy a ticket to actually go inside; one is not needed if all you want to do is walk around the grounds. I can't imagine what the crowds must be like in the summer months, as there was a huge, empty, amusement park-like queue just before you reached the door of the castle. There were tourists walking around then, but it was totally manageable. Acutally, it was the first place where we had heard English being spoken on our trip. Besides the actual castle, we also walked across the Marienbrucke, which is a bridge that crosses a ravine with a waterfall at the bottom. Looking back toward the castle gives you a spectactular view (the above picture was taken from there). Here's what the bridge looks like from the castle:

And let me tell you, Chris and I both were not especially fond of that bridge. It was built in the 1800s sometime, and while the frame was metal, the planks were wood. Some of them bended as you walked across it, and the drop was certainly significant (easily 500 - 600 feet). Plus the wind was blowing through the ravine, so we didn't dawdle around there.

As far as nightlife went, Munich was a nice time. Chris and I went to two more loungey bars on Friday night that were quite hopping, then on Saturday we returned to one of the Friday spots, then onto NYC, which is the main dance club in town. It was fun, about the size of Cobalt in DC, and played some fun music. Drinks were slightly more in Munich than they were in DC, but house vodka was Absolut, so it wasn't a big bother. We stayed out late, but not obscenely late, both nights. Good times.

The Munich Airport is awesome, too, and probably the nicest airport that I have ever visited. It's only about 10-15 years old, plus it's what you'd expect from a German airport built in the modern era: sleek, attractive, efficient, comfortable, and contemporary. We also spent some time in the Lufthansa Senator Lounge before boarding, which was also very nice. WAY nicer than the United Red Carpet Club, with a larger variety of food and drink. One of my favorite features was the nap room, which was a room of about four or five recliners each partitioned off in its own private area. Had I not discovered this room within the last 20 minutes of our time in the Lounge, I would have probably taken advantage!

Understandably, I'm a little jetlagged from this trip (though not dead, as I'm at work today). So what am I doing tonight? Getting on a plane to fly to Florida for work for the rest of the week. Well, it won't be too intense of a trip, thankfully. Plus after spending many euros on food, drink, and transport over the last few days, it'll be nice to have work pick up my tab for the rest of the week.

God Bless America (and YouTube)

2007-01-14T01:05:00.000Z

Oh, you were once lost, but now you are found! My bookmarked version of this from someone's macintosh server was removed a few months ago, but I found another copy of it. This does NOT get old. Ti-na-na-nah!!!

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

2007-01-12T03:17:00.000Z

This cracked me up. Most of you have seen the original, I'm sure, so I won't bother to locate it. If you haven't, just Google "Peanut Butter Jelly Time," and it will come up. Plus, if you're lucky, you'll get links to something called Peanut Butter Federline. Now I KNOW you'll be searching!

ANYway, those of you who I know personally (and who are local) should have received an invitation from the Dupont Ladies' Auxiliary Club inviting you to my 30th birthday soiree on January 27. Yes, I will have been 30 for nine days by that date, but as has been mentioned before, I'll be out of town that weekend. It's going to be my first birthday party since my going away/joint birthday party with Jamie two years ago, and my first one in DC. There should be a motley crew of people showing up to Chris and Brian's place that night. I always have a little anxiety when people from disparate groups whose only common link is me are gathered in the same place. However, as we all get older and mature, most everyone has enough social skills to do well in that situation.

Hell, I like being thrust into a party full of (friendly) strangers. Most of us get into routines in which we see the same set of people very frequently. It's fun to mix it up and be exposed to people that we normally don't see. I'm convinced that these occasions are some of the best opportunities to meet quality dates. The guest list has been pre-qualified (unlike bar crowds), and the lighting and music is usually much more conducive to conversation. Not that I'll be date shopping that night, but maybe my party can serve as a conduit for others. In fact, at my party two years ago, my friends Rich and Josh were introduced to one another. Rich was casually looking for another job, and Josh was hiring for one that would be perfect for him. Soon thereafter Rich interviewed for the job, and I can report that today he has been very happy with it for over a year and a half now. So who knows what can happen ....

If you didn't get the e-vite and want to come, just let me know! I *may* grant you permission to come aboard the party train ....

Race You To South Florida

2007-01-08T04:12:00.000Z

I just finished signing up for the Cooper River Bridge Run on March 31 in Charleston. Oh, what a great new tradition for me! It's a very large 10K race (30,000 to 40,000 usually participate) held in the early spring in Charleston. Last year was my first year running it; as a matter of fact, it was my very first 10K period! My sister and some other friends also ran in it, and we'll all be back there again this year.

What's cool is that when the race ends in downtown Charleston, some of the bars surrounding Marion Square open up, so everyone just head on in, race gear and all! Last year Rich, his friend Cathy (who is my friend now, too, I suppose ... loved her!), and I headed straight to the Terrace Bar on top of Millenium Music. First off, definitely have drinks here if you find yourself in Charleston. It's all open-air with ceiling fans and has a great casual vibe. Of course, on race day, there are also a fair amount of attractive men in running shorts walking around. It's not a gay bar, but still, what a delight!

The only bad thing about being in Charleston that time of year is that, while it's mildly warm, it's not *quite* warm enough to lie on the beach. Last year my sister rented a condo on Kiawah, which was awesome, but we merely walked on the beach. Oh well, can't have it all! It was all forgotten once I got my hands on some Lowcountry seafood, though!

My goal this year for running is to compete in a half-marathon. I can whip out six miles pretty easily now, and that's my standard distance when I run on a regular basis here (be it outside or on a treadmill). Today I actually went seven (only because I got caught in the rain and didn't want to walk where I normally cooldown), which was cool. It's time for me to focus on increasing my speed and/or distance. I hope to reach marathon-level in '08, and I'll certainly have company. Rich ran the San Diego Marathon last June, and Brian ran the San Francisco Marathon last July. I was actually with them for both of those races, too, so I got to see how exciting it was for them to fulfill their goals. Though the idea of running 26.2 miles in one fell swoop kind of freaks me out!

This week is my first work trip since I was in Phoenix about four weeks ago; I'm off to sunny South Florida. Sadly, my budget won't allow me to stay at The Breakers, though I'm certainly planning on sneaking in a little beach time if at all possible. In fact, I'm extending my stay until Saturday afternoon so that I'm assured of a little toes-in-the-sand action. I'm hoping that it won't turn out like my attempt this same weekend last year. Hope everyone has a good week!

P.S. This weekend marked my third time seeing Dreamgirls. I can't help it, I keep accompanying people who haven't seen it yet!

All You Got To Do Is Dream, Baby, We'll Be There

2007-01-04T02:40:00.000Z

I really don't really know how to start this post. First, I haven't loved a movie as much as I loved Dreamgirls in quite a long time. How many times have I seen it since it came out on Christmas Day? Twice. And I'd see it again in a second, no doubt. The music, the costumes, the wigs, the set designs ... all flawless, beautiful, and entertaining. I was totally captivated by nearly all of Beyonce's outfits and wigs. She had a wide range of 60s- and 70s-appropriate looks, and I looked forward to each one as much I as enjoyed the last. I really, really dig mid-century design and style, so I ate the visual side of the film up.

I also love Motown, and several elements of Motown were on display: the girl group (The Dreams, obvy, but also the Step Sisters at the outset), the soul brother (Jimmy Early), the doo-woppy guy group (Little Alfred & the Two-Tones), the overweight blues guy (Tiny Joe Dixon) - although that's not actually Motown, it was still cool, and the black boy band (The Campbell Connection) - loved that part of the movie. My parents loved Motown, so I listened to a lot of it growing up ... albeit begrudingly at the time, but now I'm so glad that I have a musical knowledge base from that era. The music in the movie sampled elements of each of these genres well, even if it was just for a few seconds. The soundtrack (pay $7 more and get the Deluxe version with 37 tracks, PLEASE) delves a little deeper and deliveres the whole song as opposed to just a snippet.

It was a well-directed movie that flowed well, and it really was a touching story. The never really lingered too long in any one era or in any one scene, and there were no points in the movie where I felt it was dragging or vapid. Obviously some characters (Effie, Jimmy) were deeper than others (Lorrell, C.C.), but I wound up vested in them all and hoping for the best. I also enjoyed watching how some of the characters changed and/or matured during the course of the movie.

Yes, Jennifer Hudson does have an amazing voice, and her character is one of the more livelier ones. Hers is the sassy black woman part, and she plays it very well. Both times I saw it the audience erupted into applause after her big solo in the middle of the movie. I imagine that it's happened in many other theaters, too.

I'm not much of a musicals person, so I had never heard of Dreamgirls before this movie got ready to come out. In fact, I really wasn't excited about it coming out like my friends were. However, based on my love of Motown girl groups and mid-century style and design, I knew I would at least like it. Oh, but I LOVED IT!!! Everyone that I've talked to who has seen it has said that it was much better than they anticipated. I've even pushed for my parents to go, and I'm interested to hear their take on it since they came of age right in the middle of this era.

As a result of my unwavering love for this movie, I am shocked and befuddled by any review that doesn't give glowing marks. Tons of reviews have taken shots at Beyonce's acting. Yeah, she's no Meryl Streep, but she played her part well. Not that I was paying much attention to it, since I was too hypnotized by all the looks she was serving. But what kills me is all these reviews who bash her acting and voice and say it didn't compare to Jennifer Hudson's. Well, it wasn't supposed to; that's how the parts were written! The only time that Beyonce is given a chance to really let her voice shine is the solo "Listen" towards the very end of the movie, and I think she did an outstanding job. It's one of my favorite songs of the movie, actually, and it was a stealth one ... it didn't do much for me at first.

I find myself listening to the soundtrack over and over again, too. It's a great way for me to re-live the movie in my head, since the sountrack goes in order from start to finish chronologically. After all, $10 a pop can add up. BTW, is it out on DVD yet???

If you haven't seen it, GO!!! GO!!! No really, you're still reading this? GO!!!

Flashback ... Wednesday!

2006-12-27T15:25:00.000Z

Since I'm just getting back to high-speed internet today, this week's installment was delayed one day. I believe this is on MTV Party to Go #5, maybe? How awesome were the MTV Party to Go CDs, BTW?

What's You Seduction Style?

2006-12-20T18:06:00.000Z

Okay, I was a little surprised by these results. I'm not THAT lewd and lascivious, I know, 'cause I certainly know some people who would outrank me.

Thanks again, Kevin!

(I'm a sucker for these quizzes)

Week & Weekend Debrief - JRs, AZ, and NY

2006-12-19T21:24:00.000Z

Hi, y'all. Whew! I've been quite the busy bee since I last checked in. First there was the party at JRs, which was quite delightful. We got there as soon as the doors opened and staked our claim, so we didn't have to deal with the crowds that showed up en masse shortly thereafter. Thankfully, Wednesday was a travel day for me (though I didn't leave until 4:30pm that afternoon), so I was able to sleep in and leisurely pack for my trip.

Phoenix was delightful and productive work-wise, as I had several successful meetings. On the personal side, the highlight of the trip was meeting the studly Joe in person. We had a great dinner at Los Olivos and a few drinks at Roscoe's over darts. Someone beat someone else four games out of five, but I won't say who. There's an outside chance that Joe and his boyfriend may move to Baltimore, and if they do, Joe said that he is determined to make me join the DC Renegades rugby team with him. Egad! I know I'm 6'5" and somewhat broadly-built, but come on, me playing rugby? I'm a runner, not a rugger!

(Speaking of running, I was bummed to see that the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler has closed, but then once I realized that it's the same weekend as the Cooper River Bridge Run, I felt better, since I would have missed it anyway.)

Anyway, it was nonstop from PHX to JFK on Friday afternoon for my weekend in NYC. I arrived at Rob's apartment around 11:30pm, where I met up with Bernie, Nick, and Rob. We went out, but the night kind of blew overall. The best thing was probably the diner at 2:30am, despite having to harrass the waiter to get each of our food items. Saturday we went shopping at a Miss Sixty/Energie sample sale and the Barneys' CO-OP on 18th Street. I picked up a nice, big scarf at the former and a pair of really cute Pumas on sale at the latter. Plus Nick, Bernie, and I had to pick up swap gifts for the party we were going to on Long Island that night. They both got stuff from Miss Sixty, and I opted for a DVD of The Devil Wears Prada (too bad I couldn't take what I brought to the party). We trained out to Central Islip and then cabbed to the party, which was a blast. Tons of food and booze, a well-decorated house, fun people, and a garage converted into a dance floor, complete with disco ball. I wound up with some aromatherapy wrap (which, btw, aromatherapy is just a fancy word for super-strong smelling potpourri), which, we found out on Sunday, makes a very good paddle. I left it with Rob as a host gift.

Can I tell you, though, how completely trashy most of Long Island is? I'm sure there are really nice parts to it (Hamptons, Manhasset, Great Neck come to mind), but on the way out there and back I saw copious amounts of butt ugly houses, graffiti, and abandoned buildings. And the people, good god. I felt like I was on the set of a TV show or movie ... people REALLY have those stereotypical Long Island accents. After enduring hour-long train rides each way and listening to the conversations of these people, I never want to hear shit about my Southern accent ever again. Their's were painful. And the clothes and hair ... don't get me started.

Back in Manhattan on Sunday, Rob arranged for us to meet some of his friends for brunch at HK. Like the Beacon in DC, they have an all-you-can-drink special. Unlike the Beacon, the food is pretty good and there's no buffett. We were there from about 1 until 4, but no one really got drunk, as we were too busy gabbing about the weekend. After that it was back to Rob's place, then Bernie and I got a cab to LaGuardia for the shuttle home. It was a great weekend, but WHEW I was tired when I got back. And lighter in the wallet for sure ... god bless NYC, but you can go through money like it was Kleenex in that town!

Fortunately, I'm not traveling for work the next three weeks, so I'll be able to hit the gym hard and eat more healthily. It's so hard to do so on the road, despite your best efforts. Most of these hotels only have cardio machines, which is fine, but strength training becomes quite the challenge. I fly home Friday afternoon for Christmas and will return on the first flight back Wednesday morning. New Year's will be spent in DC. I'm SO over going out that night, so the likely scenario at midnight will be a house party. We may still go out a little, but after 1 or so, once the amateurs have gone home.

Well there you have it. Not the best written post, but let's focus on content over style this time. Mmmkay?

Flashback Tuesday

2006-12-19T15:54:00.000Z

"I Wonder If I Take You Home" - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam

I never realized that Lisa Lisa has quite a rack on her. Guess that's where the whole liking boys instead of girls thing comes into play.

I know I haven't blogged in a week, but I've been super busy. I'll give something to the fans this afternoon. Promise!

Holidaze

2006-12-12T11:13:00.000Z

The past several years, Christmas has totally caught me off guard. By sneaking up on me, I haven't really gotten into the Christmas spirit like I did when I was younger (and by younger, I even mean the years when I was in college). Every year it seems like one tradition at a time kind of goes away. I don't get to decorate my parents' Christmas tree anymore, I do very little driving around looking at Christmas lights (until the final days before Christmas when I arrive at home), it's been years since I've been to a Christmas parade, I don't decorate my apartment, I listen to very little Christmas music, and I buy presents only for my parents, sister, and the one name that I draw from my dad's side of the family (though I think it's fine for friends not to give each other gifts, especially when you live in an expensive city and always seem to be broke regardless of your income!)

When I lived in Atlanta, Pookie Mama and I had a great tradition that I do miss. Each year we would go down to Callway Gardens, which is a little over an hour away from Atlanta, to their "Fantasy in Lights" display. All through the grounds of the property (which are HUGE), they would put up this elaborate, well-designed display of lights and holiday scenes. You had the option of driving your own car through it, but we always elected to take the "Jolly Trolley," which is just one of those big truck-towed open-air people movers (like those golf-cart-looking things they drive through the parking lots at Disney World). The whole drive was choreagraphed to Christmas music - most of it pretty and classic - and was narrarated by hokey carriage driver and his "horse" Snowball, whom the driver would speak to from time to time, causing Snowball to whinney (or whatever noise horses make) back at all of us. Before or after your scheduled ride time, you could wander through the huge Christmas shopping tent (mostly tacky stuff but still fun to browse) and/or drink hot chocolate and roast smores at the outside bonfire. That was probably my favorite Atlanta Christmas tradition.

I am starting to get some DC holiday traditions now. This past weekend Chris and Brian hosted David, Chuck, Nick, Bernie, and I for a traditional Christmas dinner. We all made (or bought) something, including me, who made a broccoli casserole and some sauteed asparagus. It was a lot of fun. We also attempted to play a circa 1991 version of Trivial Pursuit's TV edition, but that didn't go so well. Do you know much about The Donna Reed Show? Yeah, me neither. Tonight is the holiday party at JRs, which is my first (I was out of town last year). They put up elaborate over-the-top decorations, have an open bar, lots of food, and a 12 Days of Christmas sing-a-long with local karaoke drag queen Gladys Kravitz. So I'm told by the others. I've got my invite sitting on my desk at home, so after a quick trip to the gym, it'll be time to race home and get ready.

I'm leaving Wednesday afternoon for Phoenix for two nights for work, then I fly straight to NYC on Friday afternoon, where I'll be meeting up with Bernie for a weekend of fun. Oddly enough, going through NYC on the way back to DC instead of doing a roundtrip nonstop to DC saved me $10, so work is in essence paying for my airfare to NYC this weekend. Every once in a while that works out ... you have to find the perks where you can!

Flashback Tuesday

2006-12-12T10:00:00.000Z

Of course, my favorite part of J.J. Fad's "Supersonic" is around the 2:50 mark:

"You See the S is for Super,
And the U is for Unique.
The P is for Perfection,
And You Know That We Are Freaks.

The E is for Exotic,
And the R is for Raps.
So Tell Those Nosey People
Just to Stay the Hell Back."

Ahh, what a delight. They just don't make 'em like they used to ...

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

2006-12-07T18:36:00.000Z

You Are Blitzen

Always in good spirits, you're the reindeer who loves to party down with Santa.

Why You're Naughty: You're always blitzed on Christmas Eve, while flying!

Why You're Nice: You mix up a mean eggnog martini.

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

Stolen from the divine Kevin, Thanks!

(Belated) Flashback Tuesday

2006-12-06T16:37:00.000Z

It was only a matter of time before I forgot to do an installment of "Flashback Tuesday" on time.

"Jump" came on my iPod while I was on the treadmill earlier. I friggin' love the Pointer Sisters anyway. This song also now reminds me of that scene in Love Actually where Hugh Grant dances to this song.

I'm currently in foggy Tacoma, Wash., right now, heading to Portland, Ore., this afternoon. Be back Friday!

Happy Birthday To Me ...

2006-12-04T13:01:00.000Z

Hi, y'all! Hope everyone had a nice weekend. I did ... a late-night booze-a-thon at the Green Latrine ($10 all-you-can-drink Smirnoff flavors) on Friday night (maybe I had some 7-11 taquitos on the stumble home, too), Wake Forest winning the ACC Championship and earning a trip to the Orange Bowl on Saturday, and lounging and being a bum on Sunday.

Now, let me explain the headline ... it's not my birthday yet. I'll be hitting the landmark age of 30 on January 18, so it's certainly on my mind already. Plus, Pookie Mama just turned 30, too, last week. T-Bird's 30th birthday is two days after mine. However, over the weekend I decided to give myself an early birthday present, thanks to a cheap airfare that I first spotted on Friday afternoon. So on the afternoon of my 30th birthday, I'll be boarding a plane to:

Exciting Munich, Germany! (cue The Price Is Right showcase music)

Yes, how about that? Fellow travel nut Chris will be accompanying me, so it'll be great to have a friend along on this international jaunt. The airfare was a gloriously low $360, and we're flying nonstops from Dulles to Munich on our beloved United. I'm also redeeming Marriott points for the three nights that we'll be there, so no hotel expenses!

I'm excited, as this is my first trip ever to Germany. Yeah, it'll be cold there, but it's cold here in January, so whatever. It's also the first time that I've traveled internationally on a non-award ticket, so that means that I'll have a nice 8500-mile start to achieving elite status for 2008.

If anyone has any suggestions on things that I need to see in Munich, fire away! We may even rent a car one day and go out into the edge of the Alps.

Thursday Tidbits - Deacons, Health Insurance, and Interviewing Hotties

2006-11-30T11:13:00.000Z

Yea for Wake! They are 10-2 and have the best record in school history. Their head coach, Jim Grobe, was unanimous choice for ACC Coach of the Year. The quarterback, Riley Skinner (who is really cute, SHOCKER!), was voted the Rookie of the Year. AND ... the Deacs are playing in the ACC Championship Game in Jacksonville on Saturday against Georgia Tech. I started to get a wild hair and go down there for the game (since I know a couple of guys who are going), but I decided to save my miles and continue to build up for a better trip than a weekend in Northeast Florida in December. I'll still be watching ... GO DEACS!

There was an article this week in The Washington Post about the naming of the Nationals' new stadium. What will it be? The two other big sports facilties in town (FedEx Field and Verizon Center) are not named for local corporations, so who knows if the baseball stadium will follow this trend. Personally, I think something like "XM Field" (or XM Radio Field, probably) sounds cool, although we're more likey to see something like "Discovery Networks Stadium" or "Marriott Park" ... anything but "GEICO" or "Capitol One" ... BLECH!

Today is the last day of open enrollment at the company to choose our benefit plans for 2007. I am switching from Kaiser Permanente HMO to CareFirst BCBS's POS Blue Choice plan. It was a tough call, but I think I'll enjoy having the freedom to have a little more choice, even it if it does have higher copays. Kaiser has been fine, but reading the feedback from fellow employers on message boards has made me reconsider. Plus "HMO" has such a stigma behind it. Both our dental insurance choices are kind of blah, but I think that's more often the norm than the exception for companies.

We're interviewing to replace my favorite work colleague, who left two weeks ago to move to Atlanta to be closer to his wife's family. Now, have you ever interviewed someone that you thought was hot? My 30-minute block is coming up at 11:30am, but I've already seen him around the office. He's not the chisled good looks type, but rather the masculine jocky-athlete type. His resume indicated that one of his hobbies is being a lacrosse coach, too! Gaydar is NOT going off at all, but still, it could pose a dilemma. I'd rather not work around hot guys; lord knows I don't need the distraction. Maybe he won't pass muster with the interviewing team today and the issue will be dead in the water. We'll soon find out ....

Thanksgiving Recap: Rivalry Weekend

2006-11-29T11:41:00.000Z

I had a lovely time at home this Thanksgiving. Nothing too wild and crazy to report ... basically it was the normal stuff: family dinners, catch-up time, crack-of-dawn Black Friday shopping with my dad (an annual tradition for me and him), and football. It was the first trip home in a while where I didn't feel rushed; I got to really enjoy my time there and soak up everything and everyone.

It was rivalry weekend, too. And no, I'm not talking just about the Clemson/Carolina game. I got a sense that there was a very benign, subtle rivalry going on between my parents and their respective mothers. This is the first holiday season ever where both grandmothers have been widows at the same time, and I think Mom and Dad both went out of their way to put their respective mother in the room with me and my sister. Typically on Thanksgiving we eat lunch with my mother's family, then dinner with my father's family. Since my maternal grandmother was having knee surgery the next week, she wasn't up for cooking. So, we had both lunch and dinner at my paternal grandmother's house. Score: Dad 1, Mom 0.

Friday began with my father and I showing up at Circuit City at 5:30am, and it was just as wild and crazy as you would expect. Fortunately we avoided the hour-long checkout lines because I spotted a three-person line at customer service that most had overlooked. The scene was similar at Best Buy, Staples, Kohl's, Sports Authority, Dick's Sporting Goods, and HH Gregg (where my cousin works and set aside a dual VHS/DVD recorder for my dad). We get a call from my mom while we're out shopping informing us that we will all be going down to Piedmont (small town 30 - 45 minutes away where my maternal grandmother lives) to visit this afternoon for an unspecified length of time. So all four of us go and sit around and talk for two hours. Score: Dad 1, Mom 1.

Skip ahead to Sunday. My father goes to Sunday School at their church; Mom, as typical when her non-churchgoing children are home, skips it. While Mom is cooking lunch, she decided aloud that she's decided that we're going to have sunday dinner (lunch, actually, as on Sunday in the South the midday meal is called "dinner") at the kitchen table instead of the dining room table and asks me to pull up a fifth chair. "Who else is coming?" I ask. It turns out that Dad invited his mother to join us for Sunday Dinner. The funny thing is that halfway through her three-hour visit, he just gets up and goes into the living room to watch NFL coverage, leaving my mom and me with Grandma (my sister had hit the road back to NC earlier). I didn't care, I just thought it was funny. It didn't go unnoticed by Mom, either, as she made a casual remark about it in front of him later in the day. Score: Dad 2, Mom 1.

Monday morning was my maternal grandmother's knee surgery. Mom took all day off of work and was planning on being at the hospital pretty much all day and through the first night. As she was leaving that morning to go to the hospital, she said "you can wait to come to the hospital until after lunch, since I'm sure Mema (what we call her) won't be awake until then. Was I planning on going by anyway? Sure. It was funny how Mom just casually slipped it in there, too. She and Dad are both good at that, as there's not much confrontation in our family now that my sister and I are largely past disciplining age. Plus, during out Friday visit with Mema, she told me as I was leaving "I'll see you when you come by the hospital on Monday)." LOL. FYI, her surgery went well and she should be home at the end of this week. Score: Dad 2, Mom 2.

Then there was the more well-known rivalry of the weekend: the Clemson - Carolina/USC/Gamecock/Chicken/Cocks (whatever you want to call them) game. My sister and I both went. She tailgated and sat with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. I met up with T-Bird, LBG, Rich, Rich's boyfriend, and another of Rich's friends. T-Bird and I bought tickets for $50 total (face value on each ticket was $55), and I got plenty of sun on my face, too. Clemson played terrible, though, and even though it came down to a last-second Tiger field goal attempt to send the game to overtime, Carolina deserved to win, since they played much better overall. Seriously, it was painful to watch the whole way through. But as my dad said, it's not much of a rivalry if one side always wins. This was the chickens' first win in five years, so no wonder their fans were extra-jubilant. We stopped by a few tailgates afterwards, had a beer downtown at Tiger Town Tavern, and then the Atlanta crew had to head back (it's just a two hour drive, so a day-trip is very easy). Despite the score, I had a great time being back in Tigertown, as the fall weather, colors, smells, spirit, and fallen leaves always put me in a very happy place. Score: USC 31, Clemson 28.

Flashback Tuesday

2006-11-28T10:45:00.000Z

Stevie B's "I Wanna Be the One" ... still a great song. It was resurrected first for me a few years ago when I was in New York for work. I was in the car headed out to Long Island and heard this song on 103.5 KTU (which is a fabulous station, btw, playing dance-ish hits from the past 30 years). I had to download it as soon as I got home. I love all this freestyle stuff.

Thanksgiving update forthcoming, but I only got to the office about an hour ago straight from the airport.

Hold That Tiger

2006-11-21T20:55:00.000Z

(The Tiger, my cousin Laura, my cousin Jennifer, and me)

If the stars line up right, I'll be attending the Clemson vs. USC game this Saturday. Granted, tickets are extremely difficult to come by when the teams suck, so with Clemson at 8-3 and the chickens at 6-5, at least one team as a shot at a decent bowl. And regardless of how each team has performed during the season, the game is always hugely exciting. Clemson has won many more than they have lost during my lifetime (and in the series overall), but every year it's all on the line for state pride. It's very rare that you run across a palmetto state native who doesn't align themselves with either school, even if he or she is not a graduate of one of the state's two largest schools. Look at me, for an example. I grew up in a die-hard Clemson family although only a few of my relatives attended Clemson themselves. Granted, none of us went to Carolina.

The University of South Carolina itself is not a bad school at all, and I wouldn't balk at attending the place were circumstances to dictate that it would be the best option for me. You can go to Carolina without having to become a chicken fan. Columbia's big enough to have transient students, and you don't have to have allegiance to the school if you attend. However, that's tougher at Clemson, as the town is small and school spirit is intertwined and evident around every corner. It's rare that you meet a Clemson grad who is not a Clemson fan. I don't think I ever have. Quite the contrary, most people who attended Clemson loved it and are huge Tiger fans. Their "blood runneth orange" as the saying goes.

This rivalry is as heated, tradition-steeped, and energetic as any in the country, despite not getting the media attention that many other rivalries receive. I think a lot of it comes from the size of the State of South Carolina. At just over four million people, the palmetto state sits in the dead-center, 25th, in population rankings. There are no intrastate rivalries in smaller states that garner more national attention. In fact, the only intrastate rivalry in a state of similar size that gets a lot of attention is Auburn - Alabama, and that's because at one time or another one or both of the programs have been very, very successful. Were it not for Bear Bryant, this game would be relegated to regional tv coverage year-in and year-out. The other big national rivalries are among very large schools and/or are in very large states (Texas - Texas A&M, Cal - Stanford, Southern Cal - Notre Dame, Ohio State-Michigan, Florida - Florida State, Southern Cal - UCLA, Michigan - Michigan State), Notre Dame being the exception, and there aren't words to describe how much I hate them or the amount of bullshit free attention they get from the national sports media.

Provided T-Bird gets over his bronchitis (which he will, I know it!!!), he will joining me, as well as my wonderful friend Rich (well, he is one of those Carolina grads and chicken fans) and his boyfriend Curry (an Alabama grad, but chicken fan by association, I'm sure). The latter two have tickets, T-Bird and I do not. Now it's time for my dad, the ticket man with all the connections, to come through. As of this morning he didn't have any yet (for us or even for himself), but a lot can happen between now and Saturday.

I'm flying home on Thanksgiving morning, nonstop to GSP, so I'll be home in time for lunch. I'll be returning to DC on Tuesday morning, November 28, on the first flight back. It should be a lovely time back at the homestead.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Flashback Tuesday

2006-11-21T18:19:00.000Z

Neneh Cherry's "Buffalo Stance" ... yep, there may be a mix tape or two in the bottom of my closet with this song on there. This takes me backs summer vacation in elementary school, when Mom would take me and Whit to the community pool in our neighborhood and I would ride my bike back and forth to Josh's house to play Nintendo (my parents' wouldn't buy us one ... "you have an Atari, after all!") and baseball cards.

Put My Thing Down Flip It and Reverse It

2006-11-16T16:23:00.000Z

So, for a change it's stormy and rainy in DC, yet sunny here in Seattle. Despite its reputation, I always seem to have good weather when I come here. Yesterday was dreadful, though, as it was very windy and very rainy all day. In fact, the daily paper here says that November will likely go down at Seattle's wettest month ... EVER!!! Now that's sayin' somethin'! You may recall stories of heavy rains and flooded streets on election day. Apparently it hasn't let up, save for today.

Flying in yesterday, I had something new happen to me that I had never experienced flying, and I've flown my fair share. On the approach, we were nearing the runway, when all of the sudden the pilot jerks the plane up, cranks the engines full blast, and we rigidly sail back up into the sky. Now to preface, we were told twice that there were southerly winds gusting upwards of 35 mph, straight down the runway, so the ride could be a little bumpy on the way it. It turns out, the pilot explained to us, that the tower notified them at 1000ft that we were about to run into a wind sheer that had popped up. Wind sheers are apparently very, very bad things and can cause planes to crash, I have since found out. We were the only plane that was landing when it happened, too. Twenty minutes of circling the city and trying once more, and all went well.

The trip has been a good one, and the CEO and excecutives that I have been traveling with have been very pleasant. Hell, even the Great Oz asked the CEO to have a drink with the two of us so that I could hear the debrief and use this as a "teaching time" for me (which I chalked up to a poor choice of words). I was pretty surprised, as you may have read before, I have not been especially fond of the Great Oz up unto this point, who is my boss's boss. He's not done anything bad to me or spoke ill of me, but I always sensed an aire of superiority that he casts down upon the rest of us. I'm starting to see that a lot of that is probably just in my head (as per ususal). He seems to be taking a genuine interest in me and has thanked me twice for helping out on this trip. Good times.

Oh, and I'm so excited, my miles from the outbound leg of this trip have been credited and I'm officially a Premiere Executive Mileage Plus Member (or "1P" in United speak). However, the damn seating maps are still not letting me book in the exit row (which you are not permitted to do when you are a mere Premier member). At least I'll be able to access Star Alliance lounges when I travel to Australia and New Zealand in a few months! Speaking of, I guess we need to get a little more serious about our housing arrangements.

Ta ta for now!

Flashback Tuesday

2006-11-15T04:41:00.000Z

Just under the wire at 11:30pm!

I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE this song and video. Hearing it takes me right back to elementary school.

I'm off to Seattle for the next three days, this time staffing our CEO, the Great Oz (my boss's boss, named in much earlier entries), and two other executives. Not sure how much free time I'll have to blog on stuff. Oh, don't be jealous of my Seattle trip ... the weather is blowing right now (heavy rains and barely pushing 50 for a high). However, the first leg of this trip will push me over 50K on United this year, giving me my Premier Executive status for 2007. Yippee!!!

Working Amongst the Madness

2006-11-10T11:42:00.000Z

Every 18 months or so it becomes necessary to come to Vegas for work, so here I am on the final morning of my three-day jaunt to Sin City.

This is the perfect place to come for a three or four night vacation. Any longer, and my head would explode from all the lights, traffic, repetitiveness, overpriced food & drink, and pathetically trash people that walk the streets. I am always blown away by the sheer number of rednecks and their non-southern counterparts walking the streets in this gradually-more-expensive city. Fried hair, bad hair, big hair, jean shorts, black screen-printed t-shirts, nascar paraphanalia, 24 oz. cans of Coors Light, Keds, Reebok, ugly-designed ballcaps, cheap cigars, and lots of guts. I feel like a emaciated Hollywood A-Lister amongst the throngs in general.

DC Viking posted a well-written, insightful post about his recent jaunt to Vegas and the observations that he gleamed from his stay here. I agree with pretty much everything he says. Vegas seems to be different and adventurous to many people, but in reality it's just a cleverly disguised version of our own lives back home. Walk the streets here and you see familiar chain stores and restaurants everywhere. Even places that aren't chains per se are ... casino restaurants, cafes, stores, snack bars, etc., are antiseptic and Disney-like. And prices ... yeesh, the reputation that Vegas is a cheap destination is completely dead. ATMs charge exorbitant fees, small fountain sodas are $2.50, one liter bottled water was $3.50 in a conveniece store in my hotel, shows are pricey (Celine Dion, I think, starts around $135 a seat), booze pricey (either you pay 6.50 for rail liqour or you spend $10 in quarters on video poker, plus tip, by the time the waitress returns with your drink order), and fitness centers charging $25/day for use.

Now, I'm not saying that I don't love it ... this is a fun city. The lights, the elaborate decorations, the themes, the palm trees, the choices ... no wonder it's such a popular destination for bachelor and bachelorette parties. And nothing beats watching the spectacular fountains at Bellagio (not to mention that they're free). Not to mention that in November the weather is spectacular ... upper 70s for the high, lows in the mid 50s. You can lie out by the pool if you like and not roast from desert heat. However, I'm working during daylight hours, so it hasn't been an option for me. I fly home on the red-eye tonight, so after my work is done today I'll have a few hours to take in one more buffet, blow another $20 on video poker (my fav), see one more fountain show, and say "I wish my friends were here with me" to myself about twenty more times.

P.S. - No more MACACA!!!

Flashback Tuesday

2006-11-07T16:56:00.000Z

This week's Flashback Tuesday is brought to you by the letter "K" ... as in Positive K's "I Got a Man"

"Fitting Like a 14-Year-Old Piece of Snapper on Your Dong"

2006-11-07T02:55:00.000Z

(Thanks to Wonkette for use of the graphic.)

I have to give props to Wonkette for yet another favorite feature. There's this invitation-only social club for straight white young Republicans in town called Late Night Shots (okay, it must be in other cities, too, but I'm sure the DC club is of a different breed than say, New York or L.A.). Apparantly they have a message board with comments and topics that will make you recoil in horror at their sheer stupidity and irrelevance. We have Wonkette to thank for granting us temporary access to gaze through this window of exclusivity, as one of it's writers has a user ID and password to the site. So now, once weekly we will be gifted with these nuggets:

RE: amount of time before engagement?
Posted By: age range on 11-06-2006 2:12 pm

girl cannot be over the age of 24, guy can’t be under 30. once a girl reaches 24 it is becoming extremely difficult to get married.

Hampden Sydney
Posted By: Single on 11-05-2006 2:50 am

My roommate has recently started seeing a guy from Hampden Sydney. My interaction with these boys is admittedly limited, but they seem very fratty. Can someone please give me the general stereotype for HS grads (ridiculous generalizations will suffice).

My boyfriend’s dad
Posted By: HHHS00 on 10-23-2006 12:40 pm
I recently found out that the dad of the guy I am hooking up is a dentist. Where I come from dentists are looked at as sheisters. I think this guy may have been hiding it from me, and in my mind he lost some serious points after this revelation.

Lying about Greek affiliation
Posted By: very concerned on 10-19-2006 11:20 am
At age 29 if you’re dating a chick, how big of a problem is it if you’re digging through her desk and you find out that she was lying about what sorority she was in. This happened to a friend of mine.

RE: Lying about Greek affiliation
Posted By: problem on 10-19-2006 11:23 am
I think that’s a bit of an issue. More than the lying, you don’t want to date a girl who couldn’t get into a good house. It spells problems down the road.

*and within a discussion thread of these expensive, even-the-men's-shoes-look-like-women's Belgian Shoes ... *

RE: Elevated Tastes
Posted By: Sensitive Shaver on 11-02-2006 7:03 pm

The Ostrich model is too aggressive. I have a light brown lizard loafer.

The baller option on the Belgian is that you wear them ~15 times, then ship them back to Europe to have them custom a bottom sole. They end up fitting like a 14 year old piece of snapper on your Dong.

----------------

I occasionally ask myself "how on earth does the Republican party find people to take up their lame, benefitting-a-teeny-group causes year after year? Surely no one in my generation would really buy into their crap, right?" Once I found out about these folks walking within my midst, I am more confident that I have found the source of tomorrow's self-serving, detached-from-reality douchebags.

I Can't Help Myself ... SHUT UP!

2006-10-31T17:15:00.000Z

Y'all, Little Richard is one of a kind. I mean, he is certifiably batshit crazy, and I love it!!! Who knows what he did to himself to make him so crazy. Well, he has been somewhat crazy for a long while. After all, Pookie Mama has this book on rock n' roll rumors and legends that says that when Richard was first getting popular, he would ride around Macon, Georgia (where he lived), with a drag queen named Fannie, and they would pick up men for Fannie to perform sexual acts on while Richard watched. This same book also says that Richard would host orgies at his house, then the next morning get up and read the Bible to everyone.

A story like that's gotta be true ... SHUT UP!

Flashback Tuesday

2006-10-31T05:25:00.000Z

One of the most vivid memories of my tenure as a cashier at Best Buy in high school was checking out copious copies of Adina Howard's Do You Wanna Ride? album with her leaning over that car hood with these black leather hot pants just barely covering the goods:

Let the record show that I have never once denied that I have a penchant for ghetto-ass booty music from the 80s and 90s. Maybe I just discovered some old favorites on YouTube and have added them to my favorites. Ahh, YouTube, what a delight!

Down & Out (Near) Beverly Hills

2006-10-26T20:59:00.000Z

I've had kind of a cloud over me this week for some reason; I've not been my usual chatty-for-no-reason, pleasant self. We all go through that from time to time, so it's no reason for panic. I've also been woefully unproductive work-wise this week. Considering I worked all weekend and late on Monday, I guess that's allowed. I'm much more productive in the spring than I am in the fall, after all. Pile on top of all that the fact that my psoriasis has decided to flare up and give me fits. For those who don't know (and I'm finding that many don't), psoriasis is a genetic skin disorder that can be aggravated by stress, fatigue, or completely nothing (in this scenario). It can be slightly itchy and uncomfortable, but otherwise it's just unsightly. It comes back every once in a while, but then I treat it and it goes away. Still, it's something I'd rather not have to deal with.

I'm in my second of a three day work trip to L.A., and being election season, the airwaves are flooded with ads. However, here the ads are different. Because of the expensive media markets the ads that are broadcasted are largely state races. And Calfornia is a state politically famous for its ballot initiatives. Every election there seem to be a slew of them, all identified by a simple letter or number. Good god, I follow politics fairly closely, but I would be utterly lost if I had to keep track of every proposition and what number corresponds to whom. Add in that the nuanced spun ads that make each side look good, and I would be completely useless in the election booth.

I don't know about you, but the authors of many of my regular blogs have been hanging it up or taking big breaks recently. Starting about three months ago, it seems like there's something in the water ... maybe blogging isn't en vogue anymore. Granted, I frequently struggle to keep mine up with lively, insightful entries. Half of the time my entries are mundane and list-oriented. It never occurred to me that I could or would quit blogging. I don't consider this a chore, I guess because I am doing this for me and me alone. Sure, I get a rise knowing that others read and possibly enjoy what I write, but the original purpose of this blog was simple to be a way for me to keep up a journal of my life. It's evolved somewhat based on circumstances in my life (moving to DC being a big one), but by and large it's remained very personally oriented. It's rare that I blog about politics, celebrity stuff, or news in general. I certainly don't begrudge anyone for quitting blogging, but there are some that I'll certainly miss reading. Of course, I'm constantly digging up new ones to distract me from work.

Clemson and Virginia Tech kicked off just a few minutes ago, and of course I have to leave in a few minutes to drive out to Venice for dinner (I'm staying downtown this time instead of my usual Century City location). I was hoping the dinner would be around 8 ... instead the person wants to meet at 6. Whatever, I just pray that Clemson steps up and beats the Hokies (whose idea was it to pick a castrated turkey as a school's mascot, anyway). T-Bird and I talked on Tuesday night about making preliminary hotel reservations in Miami in case Clemson wins out and goes to the Orange Bowl. I didn't make the reservations, so hopefully I've not jinxed them.

Laters!

Spanish Barbie, Fan Sold Seperately

2006-10-23T19:13:00.000Z

No one will ever accuse me of not being thorough and diligent with my trip pictures. They're finally done, one month after returning from Spain. The link is here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/downtowntb/sets/72157594297972740/

Yeesh, we're running about ten degrees below normal for the high today, which in itself wouldn't be too bad (since I like the cool, crisp autumn air). However, there's quite a stiff breeze, so it's making things quite chilly outside. I ate lunch across the street from my office today, and it's amazing how much damage the wind can do to your hair in such a short amount of time. Fortunately it's getting cut tomorrow, since it's been nearly six weeks since my last cut. Now that I've gotten used to the short haircut, I want to keep it pretty short. Six weeks is a little longer than I like to have between cuts.

This weekend was quite tiring, but a good one nonetheless. Yeah, I worked the bulk of the weekend, but I did manage to make it to Christopher's party on Saturday, which was a delight. I can't believe we hadn't seen each other in around six months, but between my travel and the fact that he had a summer share at the beach this year, the time slipped away quite easily. I forgot that he knows several cute guys that I don't see on my normal social outlet routine. Maybe I popped into Cobalt afterwards, too. Sunday I didn't leave my apartment building all day. I only left my place to do laundry. It was great ... I watched the first eight episodes of Lost (my friends, all huge Lost fans, are trying to get me into the show and are forcing me to watch everything up until this season). It's a good show, no doubt, but I've yet to catch the "bug" ... maybe I will after watching the whole first season. I also watched Love Actually yesterday, which I had never seen. Oh my god, it was SO good! What a surprise! I wasn't expecting much, since I don't normally get into those British romantic comedies (like Notting Hill or shit like that), but what a delight! And hotcha mama ... Rodrigo Santoro, who played Karl ... what a friggin' hottie! When he and Laura Linney were in her bedroom together, good lord, he was a stealth hottie with his overcoat and glasses on. Turns out that he is a new addition to the Lost cast, so yet another reason to get into the show!

I have yet another work event and dinner tonight, so tomorrow I am definitely taking my time getting here. Tomorrow is the famous high heel race down 17th Street, and it'll be the first one that I will see (I was in Buenos Aires last fall). However, seeing as how I have a 6:50am flight to Los Angeles tomorrow, it'll be quite the abbreviated afterparty. I'll be in L.A. through Friday night, as I'm red-eyeing it back. I don't have a packed schedule, so it'll be nice to be leisurely after all the madness around here the past week.

Speaking of that event, I have to wrap up and head over. Happy Monday!

Touchdown Fever

2006-10-21T02:48:00.000Z

I meant to write a post about college football at the start of the season. Well, that didn't happen. But better late than ... pregnant? (Right, Blanche?)

One of my atypical gay traits is my love of college football. I guess it has to be partly because I was raised in a very athletic-minded extended family. Very few of the grandchildren didn't play on a team at some point in either high school or college (only one cousin and I are the only ones ... yes, even my sister played softball and basketball for a couple of seasons). No less than three of my cousins went to college on athletic scholarships (volleyball, basketball, and baseball). My father and both of his sisters were athletes. Hell, even my grandmother played basketball in high school! Despite the variety of sports played around me, football was what got the most attention in our area ... basketball was a distant second. I grew up just 30 minutes from Clemson, where my father and countless others I know went. As such, I went to lots of Clemson games growing up. Even before I was old enough to go to the games, Mom and Dad would dress me up in orange overalls, and I would join my other orange-overalled cousins at my grandparents' house while the parents all went to the game.

Eventually, around the time I turned nine, I was taken along to the games. Most all of them, actually, even the big games with hard-to-get tickets (Florida State, Georiga, and the vehemently hated arch-rival USC Gamecocks). From 1988 until I graduated high school in 1995 I didn't miss a single home game. There were so many memorable times with family and friends. Sometimes we'd eat at the student dining hall, which seemed so awesome at the time (all I can eat, and all this variety? Bring it!). We did our share of tailgating, too. Did we ever. Fried chicken from KFC, Bojangles, or Hardees, lots of sweet tea, and Cheerwine were staples to me. Many times after the games we'd walk around campus, see others still tailgating, kids throwing footballs, student pep rally posters hanging from dorms and buildings, and the beautiful changing fall colors. On special weekends we'd stop and get ice cream from the food sciences department's ice cream stop (talk about kickass!) or we'd stop into downtown shops and I'd get a new orange t-shirt.

You couldn't imagine my dismay and figurative blueballs when I went to my first Wake Forest football game during my freshman year in college. It was so BORING. I don't think we ever had more than 25,000 for a game, people showed up late and left early, hardly anyone got excited (well, the team sucked all four years that I was there), and our fight song sucked! (Unlike Clemson's Tiger Rag, which still gets me excited.) Eventually I learned to appreciate this routine when it occured to me that the coming in late and leaving early was because the tailgates were more fun that the actual games themselves.

But I still didn't go a whole season without going to at least one Clemson home game, even during my four years at Wake.

I didn't miss a whole season until I moved here. I did, however, make it to one away game last fall ... T-Bird flew up to visit me, and we went to the Clemson at Maryland game. It was weird to ride metro to a football game, no doubt.

My only shot at a home game this year will be when I'm home for Thanksgiving, but that will be the much-in-demand Clemson v. USC rivalry game. Tickets are hard to get when the teams suck, so with both teams doing fairly well (well, USC has lost two, so they're doing fairly well. Clemson only lost one game this year, and by only one point, so they're doing great!), tickets will be damn near impossible to come across. Even with my father's many, many, many connections (he hasn't had season tickets for years and still manages to go whenever he wants). T-Bird will come up to meet me for the game, too. Even if we don't get tickets, we'll still watch the game at a bar somewhere in Clemson, go out afterwards, and crash with one of our friends who still lives there.

And while this wasn't a conscious motivator at the time, but football players are hot. Not all of them. I'm talking about quarterbacks mostly, and some tight ends. It's about damn near impossible to be a quarterback and not be at least mildly cute. Usually they skew more towards full-blown hotness. I'm talking about Notre Dame's quarterback Brady Quinn:

Florida State quarterback Drew Weatherford and former quarterback Chris Rix:

Former Alabama quarterback Brodie Croyle:

Louisville quarterback Brian Brohm:

Former Southern Cal (and current Arizona Cardinals) quarterback Matt Leinart:

and, of course, anyone who has read this blog for a while should know that there is no way that I could mention quarterbacks without mention the man among boys, regulation hottie, former Michigan (and current Patriots) quarterback Tom Brady:

ESPN GameDay is at Clemson tomorrow and the #12 Tigers host the #13 Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets tomorrow night at 7:45pm Eastern ... though I'll miss most of both because I'll be working. BOOOO!!! Oh well, Tom, if you're reading, I'd love for you to be waiting at my door tomorrow night to console me ... dare to dream, huh?

All Over the Map

2006-10-18T15:41:00.000Z

Hey y'all, sorry I've been MIA for a while, but I've been really busy, even more so than I normally am. It's left me quite tired and somewhat frazzled. Nothing bad going on at all, just stuff that has kept me away from the ol' PC. A quick wrap:

--Had a great time in Atlanta and Charlotte with T-Bird, LBG, and Pookie Mama. It was good to have the old gang back together for a few days. We watched football, shopped, ate out (including hibachi in Charlotte, which is kind of a tradition for us), went out a little bit, and just soaked up each other's company. Charlotte's certainly maturing and growing into it's size, which has grown tremendously in the past 15 years. Intown neighborhoods are getting cooler and more big-cityfied. For example, we had a great time in the NoDa 'hood, which is an old mill village which has been fixed up by the typical breed of intown urban hipsters. It centers at the corner of North Davidson Street (where it gets its name) and 36th Street. We stopped into a few cool stores (including an awesome thrift store where we all bought something), had dinner at a cajun restaurant, and played foosball at a local tavern.

--This is still Charlotte related, but deserved its own bullet. At the aforementioned tavern on Saturday night, we wrap up our foosball and get ready to take a seat in the bar to watch the rest of Florida/Auburn. I walk up to the bar to refresh my Yuengling, when someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around, and there stands my one and only ex-boyfriend, The Queen. I'm shellshocked, as I've not seen him in four years, and aren't we in Charlotte, not Atlanta? And at some random straight bar in an offbeat neighborhood? It turns out that he took a promotion with his company (same one he was working at when we were dating) and moved to Charlotte about a year ago. He lives just three blocks from this bar, so it's a regular hangout for him and his friends. He looked just the same -- adorable -- and was wearing jeans and a half-zip sweatshirt (and not a bit of jewelry or turquoise/turrkwaaze on him!). We talked for about five minutes and then went back to our friends. He didn't offer his phone number or email, and I resisted the urge to do the same. Not that I have any interest in dating him again, but it was nice to see that he is doing well. And yes, the attraction was definitely still there, so Pookie Mama, T-Bird, and LBG had to spend the next half-hour trash talking him in front of me to snap me out of my haze. Of course I know he's not "the one," but seeing him again did make my heart flutter just a teeny bit.

--I got my new PC while I was gone and have spent the last few nights setting it up and tinkering with it. The CPU is easily 50% larger than my last one, so the tower has to sit on my file cabinet instead of my desk. And wow, the 19" ultrasharp flat screen monitor is a breath of fresh air. I have both monitors sitting on my desk, and it's mindboggling how much of a difference there is. I can't believe how ghetto my old monitor is! I've gotten all of my files & music transferred over (thanks to a $40 USB cable from Radio Shack), so now I'm working on settings. I have to get adaptor for my printer cable and buy some better speakers (the ones in the monitor really blow), but I'm close to being done. Now, how do I properly reformat my hard drive on my old PC and properly dispose of it?

--The computer arrival has caused there to be boxes and old PC equipment to be strewn all over my living room, plus I had to clear off all of the items on top of my file cabinet (it's a short, wide, two-drawer one, not a tall one) ... they're in the floor, too. I need to dust and clean bad, I have dishes in the sink that have been there since before I left for Atlanta, and don't even get me started on the ginormous pile of dirty clothes overflowing in my closet.

--Work has been really busy this week, even moreso than normal. I was out of the office in Richmond all day yesterday, we have a big event coming up all day Friday and Saturday which will keep me in a suit for the bulk of the weekend. I need to do cleanup from my past two trips, work on my next one coming up VERY quickly, and meet with my assistant (he dropped the ball on something somewhat significant on Monday). And find time to work out, which I desperately need to do but have so little energy for this week. I ran five miles on the treadmill last night, so that's some positive activity. Then I couldn't fall asleep until after 1:00am last night. Arrgh!

Speaking of, let me shove off for now.

"A Bat Just Flew Out Of My Cooch!"

2006-10-10T15:51:00.000Z

This picture made me laugh, and everyone needs one of those. If you love the SNL skit, you'll probably laugh, too.

Atlanta On My Mind

2006-10-09T00:52:00.000Z

I've been back in Atlanta since Friday afternoon. The first personal portion of the trip concluded earlier today when my work conference started immediately after lunch. I'll be at this until midday Tuesday, then I'll begin another couple of days of non-conference work business. Thursday after lunch Jamie, Victoria, and I will leave and drive up to Charlotte to visit Keri for a long weekend. The three of us will also attend the Temple vs. Clemson game on Thursday night at Bank of America Stadium. I'll fly back to DC on Sunday from Charlotte.

Being here has been a quasi-trip back in time to the years that I lived in Atlanta. I moved here fresh out of college in June, 1999, for a sales job that I landed with high-tech company SCO (granted, the company has been bought and purged thoroughly since I've worked there). It was a very exciting, yet challenging time in my life. I was 22, working a good job that paid fairly well for a 22-year-old, living alone, hardly knew a soul in town, and to top it off, faced my homosexuality head-on (*apply directly to the forehead* ... sorry, couldn't help myself) that summer. Life seemed so huge, limitless, and overwhelming at that point. I was very impressionable in a completely new way during this time. The music that played on the radio that summer still reminds me of my nascent days in Atlanta when I hear it now. I traveled back and forth to California and around the South for work during those first couple of years and lived the dot-com boom and bust on the front line. I met people, gay and straight, men and women, most of which would be passing acquaintances, but some of whom became my friends. An even smaller group became my close friends.

In time I grew restless with Atlanta, and a job opportunity in DC was what eventually drew me away after 5.5 years. However, I never stopped loving the city or my life here. And while the cast and setting has changed somewhat since I left, in many ways it feels like I never left. This weekend I spent the vast majority of my time lounging at my house with Jamie, Victoria, Jacob, and Baron Von Pussy (Jacob's cat Sasha on whom I bestowed the aformentioned nickname when we first lived together back in 2002-2003). We watched a lot of football, grilled out, embibed in cocktails and beer, enjoyed the treats of TiVo (BTW, I LOVE Ugly Betty now), and basically chilled out. My living room, kitchen, old bedroom, and deck instantly felt like home even though I've been gone for 22 months. It surprised me, actually.

It's nice to know that no matter where you wander in this world, there will always be those places that are home in some way. South Carolina and Atlanta are those places for me. As I travel around this world and am exposed to more and more, it gives me tremendous perspective on my own life. In many ways it makes me realize that we are all a member of one community no matter where we live on Earth. I see that the world is a huge place, and I am ignorant if I think we, as Americans, own the de facto human experience. However, it also makes me appreciate my roots and the intrinsic value and uniqueness of a place called home.

iPod 8-Ball

2006-10-05T16:34:00.000Z

Matt and Carrie have both done this, and I think it's a cool idea. Just put your iPod on shuffle and see what the next 19 songs are:

1. How are you feeling today?
"Dancing on the Ceiling" - Lionel Ritchie

*I'm in a party mood? Well, I am excited about going to Atlanta for the weekend and much of next week. And I know I'm going to JRs tonight. Okay, I can deal with this*

2. Will you get far in life?
"I Wish" - Skee-Lo

*This is good, it means that I'm constantly wanting more and am not satisfied with what I currently have.*

3. What do your friends see you as?
"Take Me Away" (MaUVe Vocal Mix) - StoneBridge featuring Therese

*I love life, the beat of the music takes me away, and I love to be social and be around people. Thumbs up on this one*

4. What is your best friend's theme song?
"Rhythm Nation" - Janet Jackson

*I have a few friends that this could apply to.*

5. What is the story of your life?
"Doctor! Doctor!" - The Thompson Twins

*I'll just label this one as "Ask Again Later"*

6. What was high school like?
"Stomp" - The Brothers Johnson

*In retrospect, high school wasn't as bad as I thought when I was in it or in college, but it wasn't a disco/soul party for sure.*

7. How can you get ahead in life?
"I'm Not in Love" (DJ Skribble & Anthony Acid Remix) - DJ Skribble

*I'll need a medium to help me decipher this one.*

8. What is the best thing about your friends?
"September" - Earth Wind & Fire

*I love this song in general. So my friends help me remember the good times and have fun doing it. I dig it.*

9. What is in store for this weekend?
"Night and Day" - Al B. Sure

*Sounds like I'm hooking up this weekend. Somehow I doubt it, since I'm planning major friend catch-up. And not those types of friends.*

10. What song describes you?
"Tennessee" - Arrested Development

*Don't think so. I don't have that much past trauma do deal with. I grew up in the Cleaver house (or some other all-American 1950s-esque happy family existence).*

11. To describe your grandparents?
"Movin' Out" - Billy Joel

*Another miss. My grandparents were as far from Italian-descended Yankees who drink as you can get.*

12. How is your life going?
"Queen of the Night" (CJ Mackintosh Mix) - Whitney Houston

*Somewhat true, given the setting, my mojo at the time, and if alcohol is present.*

13. What song will they play at your funeral?
"Blood & Roses" - The Smithereens

*Eh, next.*

14. How does the world see you?
"Breathe (2AM)" - Anna Nalick

*Don't think so. Why did I buy this song, anyway? I've grown tired of it. I guess I don't need to comment on all these.*

15. Will you have a happy life?
"Everyday People" - Arrested Development

*What is the deal with Arrested Development?*

16. What do your friends really think about you?
"Don't You Want Me" - Jody Watley

*Wow, sounds like I'm a lot more loved and desired than I first imagined. Go me!*

17. Do people secretly lust after you?
"All Mixed Up" - 311

*Sounds like former gentlemen callers still lust after me! BTW, I sung this song in college with my a capella group. It was a fun one.*

18. How can I make myself happy?
"I've Got You Under My Skin" - Michael Bublé

*Yeah, yeah, I know. Get a boyfriend. Easier said than done, iPod!*

19. What should you do with your life?
"Motownphilly" - Boyz II Men

*Move to Philly, buy a black Mercedes, hang out on South Street and eat copious amounts of Philly Cheesteaks? And this will make me famous? Well, it does sound easier than American Idol.*

I'm Singing the "Converting a Small Amount of Euros to Dollars" Blues ...

2006-10-03T19:31:00.000Z

I just converted all but 60 eurocents of my 11.60 euros back to dollars. But damn, it wasn't easy or cheap. My bank won't do it unless you have at least 100 or 200 (I got both answers) of euros, then it's a $10 fee. They directed me to the Thomas Cook Exchange booth at Union Station, and I knew that place wasn't going to cut me any deals. 11 euros equals $12.83 at their buyback rate (they don't take anything smaller than one euro) ... but wait! There's a $5.95 fee to convert! If I had a trip planned to a euro-using country within the next six months, I may have sat on it. However, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush ... so I got my $6.88 for it.

Today's lesson is: get out only what you think you will need until departure. Hell, spend it on crap at the airport, just get rid of it if you don't have much left.

In Buenos Aires I spent every last peso in the airport on my last meal, so I didn't realize how pricey it was going to be to do currency conversion. Oh well, the 50 euro cent is the same size, but thicker than a U.S. quarter, and the U.S. nickel is almost the same size as the 10 euro cent ... so maybe I'll try my luck in the soda vending machine. The machine has it coming ... it took my money and wouldn't return it once I realized it was out of everything but that skank ass Nestea.

Brilliant ... You're On Notice!

2006-09-27T18:23:00.000Z

Lots of folks have done this, so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon: